Cake Party.

My favorite part of planning the wedding so far has been the cake tasting.

We had to get up early Thursday morning to make our appointment, but it was worth it.

The woman running the place made us feel important, but she didn’t fawn all over us. She seemed like she’ll be easy to work with.

We started to discuss cake ideas. We looked at pictures and menus. There was a brief moment of panic where I didn’t think I was going to get a piece of cake. And then finally she said, “Would you like to try a piece?”

Yes. Yes, I would.

And the cake itself was fantastic. Any time you want me to get excited about an important decision, just stick a piece of cake in front me.

She never even charged us for the coffee!

Tales from the Road.

It is Wednesday morning; the second day of our road trip. We are 20 miles outside of Utica on the Thruway (which is another way of saying the middle of nowhere).

By some fluke of weather, it is 25 degrees and raining. We have angered the travel gods. Because we haven’t been going for very long, the windshield is still cold and the rain sticks to the glass and freezes immediately. My brand new wipers do nothing. We are forced to pull over every ten minutes to scrape. My car looks like an Original Glazed. We finally pull in to a rest stop and buy some washer fluid that won’t freeze.

“That’s a pretty ugly hat you’ve got there,” the attendant says, referring to my faded blue hat with the bright red “B”.

“Thanks... I wear it with pride.”

“The pinstripes will be back next year,” he barks at me.

“Don’t count on it,” I shoot back.

I’m feeling a little more confident as we get on the road. I’m not going to let the weather or a Yankee fan get me down. I’ve got places to be.

Picture of the week.

Winter berries.

Dear toilet paper at work,

You've been a little rough lately.

Sincerely,

Sandpaper.

Pat's Beard

I haven't shaved since November 30th. A week in Buffalo at Christmas time looms on the horizon. This is the story of my beard...


Day 6 - Still fascinated by my own face. I spend more time in front of the mirror. I pause and stroke my chin when answering questions.

Day 7 - First off-color comment at work.

Day 10 - I see two friends I haven't seen in a while. Neither of them make a comment.

Day 11 - I get carded at the liquor store. Apparently, you should be able to grow a better beard if you're 21. At this point, it's just getting longer. It doesn't seem to be filling in on the sides.

Day 12 - I see a friend who I haven't seen in a while. She comments about it, then reaches out and gives a tug. I am flattered.

Day 14 - Horribly itchy. For the first time, I seriously contemplate shaving. We're starting to see a little curling action, but still no thickening.

Day 16 - Most recent photo.


I can't tell if the lack of comments is because people can't see it from 4 feet away, or if they feel bad about me not being able to grow a better beard.

Watch this space for more beard news...

Thank you, Adobe Photoshop.

You give us the power to make boring pictures into interesting ones.

A Special Holiday Message
by Pat Canole's Colon

Just wanted to drop in and say a quick "hello" before the holidays ramp up.

It's our busy time of year down here in Pat's intestines. Increased eating means more inventory to manage. And I don't even want to think about all the extra alcohol.

There's also the Annual Orgy of Cookies and Meats to attend in Buffalo (also known as "Christmas"). Man, they eat a lot of roast beef out there.

Anyway, that's all from this end. Have a fun, happy and safe holiday season. And don't forget to mix in a salad once in a while.

Scotchtoberfest

Last month, Jen and I went to a Scottish Festival in, of all places, Scotland, Connecticut. We had a lovely time.

There were feats of strength, musicians, clan flags, well dressed old guys, and, of course, funny socks.

Disillusionment at the animal shelter.

So the amazing black lab from last week was still there this week. Apparently, his family just didn't want him anymore and turned him loose.

I still love animals. But I'm starting to have my doubts about people.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful...

Hate me because it's two days before Thanksgiving and I'm 60% done with my Christmas shopping.

A tale of two puppies...

I spent Saturday morning at the animal shelter walking the dogs. Most of my time there was spent with the full grown black lab male and the black lab and pitbull mix (and other mystery dog) female puppy. I have a serious case of black lab envy at this point.

The big dog was a lot of fun. He was the biggest purebred black lab I've ever seen, but he was good about stopping when I gave his leash a yank. Being a male dog, he had to stop and pee on everything, even when he was completely out of urine ("Dude... You're not even peeing anymore... You're just lifting your leg..."). I can't imagine he'll be there next week when I go back. Somebody must be missing this dog.

I had a blast with the puppy. She was probably about 6 weeks old. You'd never believe me if I told you how cute she is. She's got the lab type body with a shorter face. She wanted to be independent, and felt the need to sniff everything as we walked around the building. But she would also look back every few minutes for reassurance. She wanted to do stuff on her own, but she wanted to know there you were still there with her. There's a slim chance she'll still be there next weekend.

Sigh.

Fitness hurts.

I had my first session with a personal trainer yesterday. I'm in a significant amount of pain today.

Sure... it's the "good" kind of muscle pain. I'm just shocked at the amount of pain I'm feeling today.

I consider myself fairly active. I'm not cover model material, but I'm probably in better shape than 75% of the American public. I can run a mile. I can see my toes. I can kill a man with my bare hands (but that's a different column...). I usually get some type of physical activity in 5 - 7 times a week.

Unfortunately, being at the bottom of the 25th percentile doesn't mean you're actually IN shape, it just means you're less out-of-shape than most other people.

When I work out on my own, I tend to give myself 30 - 60 second breaks in between activities. When it's somebody else pushing you, you don't get those little breaks. It's amazing how much you miss those.

I also tend to work out one muscle group at a time. I had never done most of the exercises I was being asked to do yesterday. My entire body was challenged in ways it never had been. I had no idea there were that many different kinds of push-ups.

The best part of the ordeal was the stretching. We spent the last ten minutes with him pushing and pulling my body parts in different directions. It may sound a little gay, but it actually felt really good.

I'm maintaining a positive attitude about all this... It WILL get easier.

Wish me luck.

Picture of the Week.

We had wild turkeys running through our apartment complex over the weekend. Crazy.

At the pound.

Jen and I have been going and volunteering at the local animal shelter Saturday mornings for the last few months.

I'm not bringing this up now to tell you what a great guy I am... (And besides... there are plenty of other things that make me such a great guy...) I'm talking about it now because, as a writer, it's too good a source of material not to use.

We've been getting there for 9:00 AM, usually with a quick stop for caffeine... Nine is pretty early for us on a Saturday. Jen usually plays with the kittens. I spend my time with the dogs. Some of the animals need exercise. Others just need to get used to being around people again.

There are a surprising number of purebreds that show up at the pound. I guess that's a function of where we live. Not many mutts find homes in the NK, so there are fewer mutts that escape or are abandoned.

I love walking the dogs. It's good exercise. They're always happy to see you. And you get the benefits of pet ownership without having to clean up after them or buy them food (it's kinda like having weekend visitation rights).

I've actually been sad a few times when I come back and one of my favorites has been adopted. I know that probably sounds a little selfish, but it's tough not to form some attachment to the animals. You want to make sure that they'll be taken care of and that they're going to a family that is good enough for them.

Unfortunately, I can't turn off the planning part of my brain. So part of me is always thinking about what else I can take away from this experience. If I ever were to go into business for myself, it would probably be something related to photography... But if I was going to go into ANOTHER business, I'd like to do some kind of dog grooming or doggy daycare thing. So, I find myself observing how they manage inventory and supplies, estimating what the sunk costs are, and what levels of staffing it would take to manage something like this (a doggy day care wouldn't be exactly the same as an animal shelter, but there are enough similarities to make the comparison exercise worthwhile).

Anyone want to go into business with me? I’ll need someone to work clean-up detail.

Baseball Wrap-up: Joy... Relief... Exasperation... and Sadness.

Wow... It’s only been a week and a half, but I really miss baseball (and like the subject in a psych 101 experiment, I now get excited every time I hear "Dirty Water". I hear the opening guitar part and I immediately think to myself "Oooh, did we just win something?"). It’s taken me all this time to get back to my normal schedule and find other things to talk about. It’s nice to be caught up on sleep, but I miss the ride.

Sorry St. Louis, you guys have a great team. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. It comes down to pitching. We had it, and you didn't. My fiancée (not a native New Englander, but we won’t hold that against her) asked me if it was still fun, since we weren't really getting much of a challenge out of St. Louis. Well, as a Red Sox fan, I've seen plenty of drama. It was actually nice to have a series that wasn't down to the wire. And besides, I don't think any of us let ourselves believe it was really going to happen until the final out.

You know when the Bride in "Kill Bill" finally gets to the last name on her list, and you know she's come too far not to succeed? Facing the Cardinals was kinda like that.

And you know that scene at the end where she's on the bathroom floor crying with relief and joy? And she can't believe she actually did it? That's how I felt after.

I believe in Curt Schilling (despite his personal politics). He gets immediate admission to the Boston Sports Pantheon.

I believe in Pedro and Lowe. They certainly didn't have the best seasons of their careers, but they came up big when it mattered most. I doubt that both will be back next year, but their efforts in this playoff run will not be forgotten.

I believe in David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez. I can't believe LaRussa pitched to them every time.

I believe in Theo Epstein. If we’re real lucky, we'll have him running the show for another 25 years or so...

I don't believe in curses. But I do believe in emotional baggage. And the burden of being a Red Sox fan suddenly feels a lot lighter now.

Both my dad’s parents died in the last two years. They were both lifelong Red Sox fans. Both spent about eighty years on this earth and never saw the Sox get to the top of the mountain. They would have really enjoyed seeing this. But at least I got to share the moment with my dad.

And as far as the "what will you guys do when you finally do win one? You love the misery..." argument from the outsiders, screw that. Let the Cubs carry that burden.

I'm not going to say that it was the best day of my life (OK, but it's definitely in the top 5). Maybe if I was actually on the team or had some effect on the outcome, I could say that. But I certainly identify with this group of guys. This is a group we can be proud of. They never gave up.

The only negative that I can see is that no other championship will ever feel this good (unless they go another 86 years without winning... and I'll be long gone by that time). We beat the Yankees. We beat the best team in the National League. We put the curse talk to bed. That's as good as it's going to get.

Dear America,

I hope you're happy. You'll miss us in a few years.

Sincerely,

Privacy, Education, Science, the Balanced Budget, Safe and Legal Abortions, and Freedom of Speech

Dear Pat's Blog,

I promise I'll spend some time with you soon. Just let me make it through the election.

- Pat

Wow... Just... Wow.

I can't even put into words how I feel right now.

So, if you'll excuse me, I have to go tip my car over.

Photo Corner - Fun with IR

A few weeks back, I read an article about shooting foliage pictures using infrared film. It's kinda like an enhanced black and white... it gives everything a cool look to it. I got all excited. Then I drove all over the place looking for IR film, but nobody around here had it.

However, I did find a Photoshop plugin that gives your digital photos almost the same effect. It seems to work really well on high contrast pictures with a lot of red and green. Here's some examples.

Leaf

IR Leaf

Tree

IR Tree

Dear Things in my Life That Aren't Baseball,

I'll start paying attention to you in another 10 days or so. I promise.

Sincerely,

Pat

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE...

Quick Thoughts

The foliage has been amazing this year.

Does that piece of blueberry pie I just ate count toward my 5 servings of fruit a day? Because that would make things a lot easier.

We picked out our wedding bands last weekend... This is starting to get serious...

I haven't written anything about pooping in a while.

Dear Sam Adams Octoberfest,

Feel free to come over tonight. We'll be watching the game.

We may need you more as the evening goes on...

Sincerely,

Red Sox Fans.

I submitted this as well, but I don't think they're going to run it.

True Believer

I am finding out that a big part of who I am as an adult is a reflection of my upbringing. The more I look around at my peers, the more I can see it in other people as well. You can tell which people came from deeply religious households or politically active families. Me? I grew up in a sports house.

I’m from a football-baseball-basketball family. We always root for the local teams, even during the tough times. The losing years make the winning years that much more special. Back in the 80’s, the holy trinity in our house consisted of Bird, McHale and Parish. We have been lucky enough to reach the Promised Land with multiple championships from both the Patriots and the Celtics within my lifetime.

Out of all the local teams, it is the Red Sox to which we have devoted far and away the most mental and emotional energy. And yet it is this team that has rewarded us the least. Eighty-six years since our last championship? Are you (bleeping) kidding me? Why would anyone put up with this? Think about how many people have lived and died within that time and never saw the Red Sox win a World Series.

It is not just the games they have lost… it is HOW they have lost them. Late season collapses… Painful playoff losses… So many times they have snatched defeat out of the hands of near certain victory. The loss to the Yankees in game 7 of the ALCS last year hit me like a punch to the stomach. I was devastated for about a week.

So why bother? Why let them ruin every summer? Why let your heart get ripped out and get sopmed on fall after fall? Well, they DO put a quality product on the field every season. They're not the Milwaukee Brewers. They're almost always competitive. And again, watching the Sox was a big part of my upbringing. I can't remember too many family gatherings between Easter and Columbus Day where there wasn't a baseball game on. By Memorial day, we were cautiously optimistic. Strategies were discussed at length. Every decision of the manager was closely scrutinzed. On the Fourth of July, we were either feeling downright cocky about our team or calling for the manager's head (and is there a tougher job in all of New England than manager of the Boston Red Sox?). By Labor Day, we either had pennant fever or we were saying, "wait until next year."

Following the Red Sox is a lot like being in a cult. The bonds between the Red Sox and their believers are the strongest in all of sports. And sometimes, faith means believing in something you cannot see. If you couldn’t convince yourself that “this is the year” every spring, it wouldn’t be much fun being a Red Sox fan.Now we begin the holy season of the playoffs. This year’s team is by far the best Red Sox team that I can remember. They have balance. They have post-season experience. Sure, there have been a few bumps in the road over the last few weeks, but I have more confidence in this pitching staff than last year’s. The offense lead the league in runs scored. The infield defense is the best in recent memory.

Will this be the team that washes away the sins of seasons past? Is this a championship caliber team? I honestly don’t know. But nobody else out there really scares me right now. We’ve lost a bit of our August momentum, but it’s good to know that we’re capable of playing on that high a level. Besides, one of these years when they do finally win the big one, Boston will be the biggest party you’ve ever seen (maybe next year at this time we’ll be adding Schilling, Ramirez and Ortiz to the Boston sports pantheon…). The entire country will hear the collective sigh of relief from generations of Red Sox fans when they finally win the big one. Until then, you’ve got to believe.

It's been about four years... We've been through a lot together... Any relationship like this requires a certain amount of maintenance, but this one has actually needed much less work than I originally anticipated up to this point.

Of course, I'm talking about my car. I passed 100,000 miles earlier today. Sigh.

Here's to four more years.

Picture of the Week

Swimming Prohibited

I'm thinking of submitting this one to "This American Life"...


“Dude, she’s a stripper.”

“She’s not a stripper.”

“I’m telling you, she’s a stripper. She even smells like a stripper.”

That part was true… She DID smell like a stripper.

We had stopped at Boston Market for a late lunch. We weren’t too familiar with the area we were in, so a chain restaurant sounded just fine.

Now, there were several strip clubs in the area… so maybe I was just a little over-sensitized to the issue. But the girl in line in front of us definitely looked the part. She was tall and curvy (but not too curvy) and somehow managed to make a pair of sweat pants look slutty.

And the smell... I don’t know if it’s a perfume, hand cream or a whole line of beauty products just for strippers. But they all smell like that. The only way I can describe it is a “girlie bubblegum” smell.

Now, making the “stripper / not a stripper” game even tougher was the fact that she was there with another guy (we assumed it was her boyfriend), thus making unobtrusive small talk nearly impossible. We continued our debate in hushed tones.

“She’s totally a stripper.”

“She’s not a stripper.”

I really didn’t have much to base my argument on… especially these days, when almost every girl looks like a stripper. But my gut was telling me I was right. I was afraid we would never be able to settle this disagreement one-way or the other. And then the girl and her companion reached the front of the line.

And she paid for both of them...

With a big stack of ones.

I looked back my friend to make sure he was seeing what I was seeing.

“She’s a stripper,” I said. Trying not to sound too smug.

“Yeah,” my buddy finally agreed with me.

“Or a ridiculously hot waitress...”

My Life.

Sometimes I feel bad about some of the things in my life. I think about mistakes I've made. I think about paths not taken. And I think about situations I could have handled differently or people's feelings I may have hurt.

Then I remember that I still have all my hair. And I suddenly feel much better about things.

Picture of the Week.

Baby Steps.

So I had my first "freelance" article published this week. I don't know if I'm allowed to reprint this without permission, but until I hear otherwise, here it is...

Feels pretty good to be me today.

My Hometown.

By Patrick Canole, (NRHS Class of ’93)

Flashback - Lancaster in the 1980s... Apple orchards... Trees... Wide-open spaces... The only traffic light in town is a blinking yellow light at Five Corners. Growing up here, I thought to myself “Wow, what a boring town.” Now that I’m a little bit older and a little bit wiser, I think to myself “Wow, what a beautiful place to raise a family.”

Twenty years later, there are still a few trees, but the apple orchards and wide-open spaces are on the endangered list. Every time I come back to Lancaster to visit, a few more apple trees have been cut down. There is another open field that has been turned into a housing development. This is not the sleepy little middle-class town that I remember from my youth. Despite all these recent changes, it remains one of the most beautiful areas in central Massachusetts.

I grew up in Lancaster. I love Lancaster. Unfortunately, I cannot afford to buy a house here. Changes in the real estate market and the types of new houses being built have combined to put towns like Lancaster well out of the reach of most first time home buyers.

It does not look like I am going to be able to raise my kids the same school system that I grew up in. Despite a continuous supply of new development, none of these new houses are remotely affordable for the first time homebuyer. Nobody builds small or medium sized houses anymore. It's McMansions for everyone. Twenty years ago, if you wanted a house bigger than 3000 square feet, there were a few places on George Hill Road that could accommodate you. Now they seem to be the rule rather than the exception. A quick scan of the real estate listing for the area show most new construction is happening in $400,000 and up range… That is nosebleed heights for most of us.

According to a recent Boston Globe article, house prices in Massachusetts are 6 times what they were in 1980. But incomes in the area are only three times higher than 1980. Think about that for a minute. That’s a pretty drastic change.

If you bought a house in the area years ago, congratulations. You have probably made a pretty good return on your investment. But if you sold it tomorrow, could you afford to buy something else in the area? Didn’t think so.

If the housing bubble were to burst tomorrow, I am ready to buy a place. But I would really rather not spend $250,000 on a fixer upper right now (and honestly, within an hour of Boston, $250,000 does not buy you that much anymore).

Just to give you a for how much money a quarter of a million dollar mortgage is for the first time home buyer - $250,000 at 6.5% for 30 years is $1,580.17 a month... If you're making $35,000 a year, (a decent salary for your twenties… certainly nobody’s definition of poor), that is more than HALF of your pre-tax income. You would need to take up a second job to be able to eat and pay back your student loans. And we haven’t even talked about property taxes yet.

I grew up in a middle class family. I appreciate the sacrifices my family made to send me to college, and I have tried to show my appreciation by working hard and taking advantage of the opportunities given to me. I work. I have a good job. But I am still worried about where the mortgage payment would come from if I were out of work for any length of time. I have no idea how my friends who teach or work in the non-profit sector are going to buy a house. I stay up at night and worry about these things. Honestly.

And if we are not in the midst of a housing bubble, God forbid, I am prepared to wait things out until the baby boomers all retire and move to Florida. Other than that, it is going to take a winning lottery ticket or a significant inheritance just to come up with a down payment.

I have written letters to my local politicians and newspapers, but frankly, no one really seems that interested. Affordable middle class housing is not nearly as interesting an issue as tax cuts or prescription drug plans for seniors. And my generation tends to forget to vote.

I understand how supply and demand works. But I think we could be doing a better job with the supply. I also understand that change is inevitable. If we’re going to lose our wide open spaces to housing developments anyway, why not consider affordable housing laws and multi-family units whenever possible? While this might have a negative effect your property values in the short term, it will be much nicer than having to fly to San Antonio to visit your kids. It is important that Lancaster maintain its middle-class roots.

I hope that people my age are given a chance to live in this region and not forced to move west simply to maintain the standard of living we were grew up with. We are not looking for a handout or a free pass. We are just asking for the same opportunities that our parents had. Lancaster is not going to be nearly as nice a place to live when your teachers, police officers and newspaper writers cannot afford to live in town.

Movie Nudity Categories

It's time to update our traditional movie nudity categories (and we're only counting mainstream American movies here... no porn, foreign films or Vincent Gallo movies).

In addition to the "up-and-coming actress nudity"(pretty self-explanatory), "child TV star trying to show she can be a bad girl" nudity (Elizabeth Berkley, Alyssa Milano), and "aging actress looking to prove she still has it" (Diane Lane), we now have "nudity to earn an Acadamy Award" (e.g. Halle Berry). Hopefully,this is the start of a new trend.

There's also the "Julianne Moore" category (actresses who will get nude whenever there's a camera on them (includes Laura Linney and young Ashley Judd)).

Have I missed anything? Do we need another category here? And how should we classify Katie Holmes in "The Gift"?

Hmmm... The "picture of the week" seems to have become the "picture of every other week"...

More blue flowers!

If my knees didn't hurt, I could run a little more.

If I could run more, I could lose a little more weight.

If I lost a little more weight, my knees wouldn't hurt.

It's all about flow...

I'm surrounded by engineers at work and I can safely say that I'm the only one in my immediate area who showers on a daily basis.

My whole part of the building smells like coffee and bed-head in the mornings.

It'll be a treat to open the windows again once the air conditioning is turned off and let in some fresh air...

...until we have to turn the heat on again. Bluh.

Pictures from the New York State Fair.

We spent Labor Day weekend in Buffalo doing some additional leg work for the wedding. We met with the DJ. We met with the officiant. But neither one of these visits would make for a particularly interesting story...

The highlight of the trip for me was the domed ceiling above the dance floor at the reception hall. Now, it may have just been the acoustics or the room, or it may have been mic'd up somehow, but it had the most amazing echo chamber effect. Since we had the room to ourselves, I immediately put my hands together to make "hand fart" noises (I'm a very mature 29 years old...). The response sounded like a glorious chorus of farts. I could have spent the whole afternoon right there...

I'm eating a lot more turkey lately.

(That's not really news, just a warning.)

How do you discipline a fish?

We seem to have a biting problem in our fish tank. The alpha-female ("mom" - mother to the other 5 swordtails) has taken to chasing other fish around the tank and nipping at them.

The other fish haven't picked up on this behavior yet, but I fear it's only a matter of time.

Fish are a little different than other pets. You can't really put a fish in time-out. You can't teach a fish the meaning of "no". You can't squirt them with the spray bottle. You can't put them outside until they're ready to behave.

Withholding food certainly wouldn't help with the biting problem. They'd start eating each other.

She may just be ready to give birth again. She usually starts acting really weird before she has babies.

Anybody want a naughty fish?

Weekend Update

The weekend was good. We had Jen's friend from Buffalo in, so we did a lot of touristy stuff. Mystic Aquarium on Saturday was a little too hot and crowded. I'm used to going in the off-season, so the crush of parents with strollers was a little much for me. Even the penguins didn't want to be there. They just sat around looking too hot to move.

We also did Foxwoods on Saturday. I lost money, but the new parking garage is excellent.

We went to Newport on a Sunday afternoon in August with our out-of-town visitor and it actually wasn't the worst idea in the world. The beaches and downtown were only slightly crowded. We were able to find a parking spot! (the recurring theme of the weekend was "good parking"...) And it's nice to bring people from out of town around on sightseeing tours. It helps remind me how beautiful are around here. Awww!

Toad update.

Mr. Toad came back for a special guest appearance this weekend. He's going to help out with some grilling. Excellent!

(PETA disclaimer - no toads were grilled for this blog entry...)

No more summer overnight guests if I can't walk around in my boxers. It's too hot to have to cover up.

Mr. Toad is back! More pictures tomorrow if he's still there in the morning.

Picture of the week.

Athens 2004 Olympics Statistics

Number of athletes in attendance: 2300

Number of reporters covering the games: 450

Average attendance at each event: 37

New Stuff

I'm still not sure about the CD burning feature (I have to crank the speed waaay down to burn a CD successfully), but I'm going to go ahead a give a "thumbs up" to iTunes. The music store is just too cool.

The other new thing the house the last week is MTV 2. Two thumbs waaay up for "Beavis and Butthead" reruns.

Forgot to do a "picture of the week" last week.

Some of my favorite boxers.

Dear Running,

You suck.

Sincerely,

Pat's Knees

Fish Update

We added a three new fish to the aquarium recently. We've wanted to get a couple of bottom feeders to help clean things up, but we needed to make sure their mouths were smaller than the remaining baby fish.
We got two catfish looking guys (bottom feeders) and an otocinclus (and algae eater).

The two catfish spent the first few days exploring the area. They seemed a little skeptical of their new surroundings, and stayed close to each other. Unfortunately, one of them didn't make it. It's too bad, because they were pretty funny swimming around in formation. The remaining one is going strong.

The algae eater has been a great addition. He eats himself to exhaustion. He just sticks himself to the side of the tank or a rock and sucks the area clean. The tank has never looked so good.

Baby fish - we've got 3 baby fish left (we lost one of the small ones - rest in peace, little fishy). The remaining baby fish seem to get along OK with the new additions. However, they've become picky eaters somewhere along the way (we feed them a brightly colored tropical fish flake mix). They'll eat the yellow flakes, but not the red flakes. Hmmm...

Total fish right now: 8.

Running Update

I've got to say, the biggest thing I've notice so far with the running (aside from eating all the time) is the improvement in my endurance.

We were sparring in karate this week, and I noticed I didn't have that "out of gas" feeling at any point during the night.

It's much easier to keep your arms up for blocking when you're not bent over trying to catch your breath.

Picture of the week.

We finally got through that giant bowl of fruit salad from the weekend and... oh... wait a minute... I've got to run to the bathroom again...

Picture of the week:

From Gloucester

It's been a while since we've had a song about big butts. We're long overdue.

"Would You Like to King Size Your Humiliation Today?"
(or "You Want Me to Do WHAT for $4.25 an Hour?")


Someday when they make a movie of my life, this can go in the section on my early years...

“Hey Pat... How would you like to work outside today?”

“Sure, sounds great.”

It was a beautiful 75-degree day in May. I was 16 years old and earning just enough money at Burger King to pay for my car (which, of course, I needed so I could get to work). Anything sounded better than an afternoon standing over the fryolator.

“OK... Go back to the stock room and put this on.”

It was Gloria. One of the managers. She handed me a white plastic shopping bag.

I looked in the bag, and then I looked at her. I thought I was one of her favorites...

“Are you serious?”

“Yup. Put it on and go stand out front and wave to the people driving by. And I want to see some enthusiasm. Now get going.”

Her tone made me realize that I shouldn’t ask again. I sulked away to the back room to put on the contents of the bag.

So much for the beautiful day. Fifteen pounds of foam and fur made the late afternoon sun unbearable. I stood under the Burger King sign on the sidewalk to get a little shade.

I tried my best to have fun with the situation. It was my lot in life to spend that afternoon dressed up as a gorilla. A pink gorilla. I was long past trying to maintain any sense of dignity. However, when you’re 16 years old, it’s really tough to take the “in 100 years, no one is going to care anyway” approach to life. And I wasn’t really thrilled with my career in fast food to begin with.

At least no one could tell it was me in there. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad way to spend the afternoon.

And then a car pulled up and stopped right next to me. Maybe they needed directions... But would you stop and ask directions from a guy in a pink gorilla suit?

“Pat? Is that you?!”

My heart sank. Mild panic started to set in. How could anyone have possibly recognized me? I turned and looked at the person in the truck pulled up next to me.

Oh crap. It was Heather’s mom. What the hell was she doing here?

Heather was a girl that I had had a crush on as a pre-teen. Our families were friends. We had been to Old Orchard Beach together in the summers a few times. I vividly remember a black one-piece bathing suit that she used to wear... I was 10. She was 9. It was all very innocent.

And now her mother was here for my finest hour (I could hear her saying in my head “I told you that boy wasn’t going anywhere...”). At least Heather wasn’t in the car with her mom.

I tried to shake my head no. Definitely not Pat in here.

The more I protested, the more she insisted that it was me. How she recognized me, I’ll never know (maybe I wasn’t really selling myself as a pink gorilla... If I had just been more gorilla-like from the beginning, I may have never been detected).

My parents were definitely going to hear about this now that Heather’s mom knew (and I don’t come from one of those families where a humiliating event gets ignored and never discussed again).

Heather’s mom eventually moved on. And I still had a few hours to kill before my break. I waved to all the cars as they went by. And it did lift my spirits a bit when somebody driving by gave me a beep from their horn (to this day, I still beep and wave to every poor teenager I see in a ridiculous costume out in front of a store).

That was the day I decided I needed to go to college. There had to be something better out there for this pink gorilla.

At the Gym

"Hey, you work here, right?"

"Yup."

"Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

"Go ahead."

"I hurt my hamstring a while back... I've been trying to build it back up slowly, but it's taking a really long time. Do you have any suggestions?"

"I think you're supposed to do squats for your legs. As much weight as you can handle."

"OK... Really? You think that's a good idea?"

"Sure. Go for it."

"What do you do for your personal workouts?"

"Oh, I don't work out."

"You don't work out? Aren't you a trainer?"

"Nope. I'm the janitor."

"Oh... Um... Well... Can you recommend a diet and nutrition plan for me?"

(pause)

"OK, sure."

New Feature Alert...

I'm looking for more places to use my pictures.

Picture of the week.

Quickie Movie Reviews

"The Bourne Supremacy" was really good.  I wish more popcorn movies could be this intelligent (it wasn't "Citizen Kane" or anything, but I'm sick to death of the "sarcastic comment / bad pun after the hero kills someone" style of action films).

"Bend it Like Beckham" was actually better than I expected.  Never underestimate the appeal of funny accents. 

"Love Actually" was pretty disappointing (although it does get the "extra 1/2 star for gratuitous nudity").

I only saw parts of "Bruce Almighty" and "S.W.A.T.", but I wasn't that impressed.

Grandma would have wanted me to be able to watch the Red Sox on her giant television...

We got a new TV last weekend.  I felt a little guilty asking to take Grandma's stuff so soon after she died, but the TV is a nice Sony that's barely a year old.  And if you don't ask, the answer is "no".  Besides, none of the other grandchildren would have enjoyed it as much as I will.

It's 32 inches.  It looks really big in our living room (I prefer to think the room is too small for the TV, rather than the TV being too big for the room...  There's NOTHING WRONG WITH THE TV!)  It actually takes up a little less floor space than the old TV because the stand fits better in the corner.

It's great because I'm enjoying the newness of having a new toy, without the guilt of having spent the money on something I didn't really need.  This should last me at least another 5 years or so (or until plasma TVs are under $1000).

So far, the "World Series of Poker" looks great...

And yes, I'm drinking plenty of water...
 
I hungry ALL the time now.

I'm running 3 times a week.  I'm lifting weights 2 - 3 times a week (not a lot, but just enough to tone things up).  And I'm going to karate 2 x per week.  So I've been fairly active lately.

In addition to 3 normal meals a day, I've been having healthy snacks at 10 AM and 4 PM.  It's 3 PM now.  And I have no idea how I'm going to make it another hour before I can eat again.  I can't focus on my work.

OK, that's all.  Thanks for listening. 
 

I'm Pat Canole and I approved this blog.

Def Haiku Slam
 
I’m the word ninja.
I came here to drop yo ass.
Word to your mother.
 
My beats have honor.
Your beats: weak like a fat man.
My poems have no rhymes.

I Love the 90s
 
For some reason, “I Love the 90s” just isn’t doing it for me.  VH1 did a great job with the 70s and 80s.  Maybe they’re picking the wrong topics.  Or overusing some of the people (I think there are quite a few people actually listing “VH1 Talking Head” under “primary source of income” on their tax returns now).  
 
Maybe it’s just too soon.  It’s hard to be that nostalgic for things that just happened. 
 
I also feel like they’re holding back something for a second installment (“I Love the 90s with a Vengeance” anyone?).
 
And the dancing baby is freaking me out.

Quiz answers:
 
1 - Miyagi, 2 - Yoda, 3 - Yoda, 4 - Miyagi, 5 - Miyagi

I plan on treating my kids like little adults... employees, actually.  They'll get annual performance reviews, raises, etc.  They'll have to meet certain minimum goals to be kept on staff.  Sure, it'll probably screw them up.  Isn't that inevitable?  But at least it'll be interesting to see how they get screwed up.

I had a tall caffe mocha today.  My first real coffee in months.
 
It was everything I hoped it would be...

Yoda or Miyagi Quiz

Guess which mystical teacher said each quote:

1) Teacher say, student do.

2) You must unlearn what you have learned.

3) No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try.

4) Man walk on road. Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk down middle, sooner or later, get squished

5) The sun is warm, the grass is green.


answers next week.

Notes from therapy...

"My family seems to bond over sports a lot. Is that weird?"

"Nah, as long as you're bonding over something."

I must be huge pain in the ass for my therapist. I'm all over the place in there. I can't seem to focus on any one thing for 5 minutes (nevermind a whole hour).

I can definitely say there have been no awkward silences as of yet.

(I don't know if all this is helping or not, but I'm trying.)

Top five showers:

5. The before bedtime shower on a hot summer night.
4. The post-workout shower.
3. The post-coital shower.
2. The "I've been camping for three days without a shower" shower.
1. The "I've been at the beach all day and I'm covered with sand, salt and sunblock" shower.

Movie review - "Bubba Ho-Tep"

Is it a metaphor for how we treat the elderly in this country? Is it a redemptive tale about rediscovering your true self? Is it really just about Elvis and JFK taking on a mummy? I don't think I've ever come across such an oddly compelling combination of "bittersweet" and "completely absurd". Not for everyone, but I found it very enjoyable. Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis are just about perfect in the lead roles.

Top twenty albums of the last twenty years in no particular order (or "Oh God, not another list..."):

Radiohead "OK Computer"... Nirvana "Nevermind"... R.E.M. "Automatic for the People"... Folk Implosion "One Part Lullaby"... New Pornographers "Electric Version"... Pavement "Slanted and Enchanted"... Rushmore Soundtrack... Beck "Odelay"... White Stripes "Elephant"... Moby "Play"... U2 "Achtung Baby"... Nirvana "In Utero"... The Pixies "Trompe Le Monde"... Sugar "Copper Blue"... Purple Rain Soundtrack... Dr. Dre "The Chronic"... Nine Inch Nails "Pretty Hate Machine"... The Lemonheads "It's a Shame About Ray"... Weezer (The Blue Album)... Def Leppard "Hysteria"...

(Honorable mention - Guns N' Roses "Appetite for Destruction")

I've done 200 jumping jacks each day for the last two days in karate. My calves hate me right now.

If you have any friends that are even remotely considering voting for Bush, take them to see "Fahrenheit 9/11".

If I had my own bumper sticker company:

It's a choice, not a child.

I (heart) sluts.

I (heart) porn.

I (heart) carbs.

Nice rack!

I just f***ed your wife.

My kid could kick your honor student's ass.

I'm a Boston Red Sox negative thinker.

I just got back from an almost perfect week in Gloucester, Mass. I've got a bunch of thoughts to share from the week, but I'm a little reluctant to start writing them down. Once I start writing about my vacation, that will somehow mean it's really over...

I got my brown belt. I rule.

You know when you jump in the pool, and everything looks clear at first, but then it gets all murky once you start stirring things up a bit?

Therapy is a lot like that.

If at all possible, I highly recommend avoiding trying to get two fillings replaced and going to a wake in the same day.

Hi there. Pat's Blog here. Today, we're lucky enough to have an interview with the man himself, Pat Canole.

Pat's Blog: Thank for joining us today, Pat.

Pat: My pleasure.

Pat's Blog: Well, let's get started then. I think the question on most people's minds is: Where's the toad?

Pat: He seems to have hopped along to greener pastures. I haven't seen him in a few weeks.

Pat's Blog: Do you have any more travel stories for us?

Pat: I hope to soon. I'll be getting some beach time in.

Pat's Blog: Have you seen the new Harry Potter movie yet?

Pat: Yeah, it's really good.

Pat's Blog: Read any good books recently?

Pat: I just read "Bringing Down the House". It was freakin' amazing.

Pat's Blog: In the movie version of your life, who would play you?

Pat: Bill Murray. Or Sean Connery. Either one would be OK.

Pat's Blog: How's the wedding planning going?

Pat: It's hard. Really hard.

Pat's Blog: But isn't Jen doing 80% of the work?

Pat: Yeah, but even that remaining 20% is a bitch.

Pat's Blog: Are you going to do some editing and cut this interview down a little bit before posting it?

Pat: Nah, I think I'll just throw the whole thing out there... It's got a nice little "puddle of consciousness" vibe to it...

Pat's Blog: Why don't you update me more than once or twice a week?

Pat: I think it's important to stress quality over quantity. Plus, sometimes I forget things if I don't write them down.

Pat's Blog: I've seen those notebooks you carry around with you all the time. Why don't you put some of that in here?

Pat: Some things are just for me. Not everything I write is meant for a public forum such as this. And some ideas I want to save, just in case...

Pat's Blog: You don't really think this little hobby of yours will lend itself to a career in writing someday, do you?

Pat: Maybe someday... Maybe someday...

"Hey Pat... You got a second? We've got a big problem here... Why isn't there any data in this report for May? I KNOW there should be something there from last month."

"Let me see... Hmmm, I'm not even sure where this report pulls from... Oh, here's the problem. You're looking at May 2002, goofball."

(Yes, that really happened.)

(Yes, I really called him "goofball". It just slipped out.)

what I'm listening to lately...

PJ Harvey "Uh Huh Her"
The Streets "A Grand Don't Come for Free"
The Pixies "Trompe Le Monde"
New Pornographers "Electric Version"
The Dandy Warhols "Thirteen Tales from Urban Bohemia"

Dear Ben Stiller,

You don't have to say "yes" to me all the time.

Sincererly,

Every Script That Comes Your Way.

Death

I worry about death. A lot.

I worry about just about everything. But death really scares me.

I don't want to die young. There's still so many things I want to accomplish in my life.

I also worry about those close to me. I cherish my friends and family. I tend to get very attached to people.

So it's odd that I'm so fascinated by "Six Feet Under". I can't get enough of this show.

Someone dies at the beginning of each episode (usually under ironic or tragic circumstances). It's kinda fun to play "which character is going to die?" in the opening scene.

The writing is fantastic. They do a great job of weaving together the sadness and comedy of life.

The cast is outstanding. All of the major players thoroughly inhabit their characters. There are no weak spots in the cast (unlike "The Sopranos"). And Richard Jenkins is on the show occasionally. Which is a good thing.

Even the advertising for the show is good.

The new season starts this Sunday...

Antique Roadshow sketch


(appraiser looking at item, we don't see item at first, just faces of two men talking.)

"Hmmm, this is very interesting. I'm glad you brought this in. Is it Korean?"

"Japanese, I believe."

"Right then. Well, I can't really say how old it might be, but you could probably get several thousand for it at auction..."


(pull back to show baby on table)

Mr. Toad

We've got a toad living in our patio... In our marigolds, to be more specific.

I'm sure it can't be good for the flowers, but he does make me laugh.

Toad pic

Rhode Islanders

I'm always disappointed with how few Rhode Island license plates I see on the road when I'm out of state. Don't these people ever leave home?

Maine and New Hampshire have roughly the same size population. Yet I see these plates all over the place when I'm on a road trip.

Rhode Island does have a significant elderly population. I'm sure this cuts down on the number of people ready to pack up the car and go away for the weekend.

Rhode Island also has some excellent beaches. But it's not even really beach season yet.

People... C'mon... There's lots to see and do out there.

Rest Stops

We spent 10 hours in the car on Monday driving back from our Buffalo and Allegany State Park adventures. We had to make several stops along the way.

Rest stops fascinate me. I love the people watching. Where are all these people going? Where are they coming from? Does that woman know she shouldn't be wearing orange pants with an ass that big?

It's also interesting when you start to see the same people over and over again at rest stops. We seemed to be on the same bladder schedule as a few other groups.

And the people that work at these places... Where do they come from? Do they have to pay the tolls to get to work?

Some of these places are in the middle of nowhere (especially along the New York State Thruway). Are these people driving thirty miles to work at Burger King?

I used to work at Burger King when I was in high school. I was the one they'd send on errands when they ran out of things. Luckily, there was another BK about 8 miles up the road. Does one of these poor teenagers have to drive 50 or 60 miles when they run out of pickles?

I worry about these things.

Every year I let myself go four or five days without shaving to see if this will be the year I can finally grow a beard.

This is not the year.

"How be the product?"

"ARrrrgghhhh... These be good quality bootlegs."

"'Tis true... These new digital video camcorders make it much easier to shoot a movie in the theaters."

"Aye."

"You're too young to remember doing this job back in the days of VHS... Ye could fit nearly half as much cargo on a boat... These DVD's make our lives much easier..."

"Aye... These be good times for men in our line of work."

"Aye... C'mon... We've got a good bit of sailing to do if we're going to make San Juan by nightfall..."


A scene from...


Movie Pirates of the Caribbean

Most disappointing series finales of all time:

5) Beverly Hills, 90210
4) Sex and the City
3) Roseanne
2) The 2003 Red Sox
1) Seinfeld

It's getting a little crowded in the fish tank...

So the mama fish just had another batch of babies. That's three (three... batches? litters? schools? whatever) if you're counting at home. The male has been dead for several weeks.

We were beginning to suspect divine intervention before we came across this tidbit:

"Once the eggs are fertilized it takes from four to six weeks for the first batch of babies to appear. However, because females can store sperm, there may be successive batches of babies within four- to six-week intervals for six to eight months."

SIX TO EIGHT MONTHS?!

It might be time to mix a little fish birth control into the tank.

So I'm at Outback Steakhouse on Saturday night and I'm horrified by how ridiculously overweight we've become as a people (although that didn't stop me from ordering the grilled shrimp appetizer). In every direction I looked, there's another fat person. Kids, too.

And then it hits me – industrial strength chair reinforcement. This could be a serious financial opportunity.

Just think of all the homes and businesses that are going to need stronger chairs over the next 20 years. These fat kids are going to grow into fat adults. And it's not just chairs... benches, stadium seats and car seats are all going to need to be reinforced.

Sounds like a million dollar idea, no?

I will be opening the first round of startup funding shortly. Send your checks in early.

NYC Pictures

I'm too tired to organize these thoughts into any kind of narrative, so here are my notes on my weekend visit to New York City:

Connecticut: The Tailgating State. It's always a huge pain in the ass to drive through.

Central Park - I could have spent all day people watching. There must have been about 10,000 people.

Weather - It was hot. People weren't wearing a lot of clothing. I'm not complaining.

Restaurants - Somehow, New York has a 1 to 1 person to restaurant ratio. We tried three of them.

Subway - I love public transportation. You can drink all you want without worrying about driving home.

Cash - I have no idea where I spent $100 in a little over 24 hours. It just disappeared.

Dog park - It was fun watching the dogs run around in the fenced-in areas (separate areas for big dogs and little dogs). If could just get 15 minutes per day of dog time, I'd be good. Unfortunately, they don't let people without dogs into the fenced-in areas. Snobs.

Dear Canada,

How's things there? I've been sooo busy lately. Sorry I haven't had time for a visit.

Listen, if Dubya gets re-elected in November, can I move in with you? I know he may not seem THAT bad at first (and it was kinda cool when he was handing out three hundred dollar checks to everyone), but after you've lived with him for a while, you really regret it.

Plus, he won't stop pissing off the neighbors.

Let me know what you think.

Thanks,

Pat

P.S. Thanks for bringing Tim Hortons to Rhode Island, eh?

From now on, I'm choosing my beer based solely on the number of grams of carbohydrates.

Injuries.

I ran today... First time in three weeks.

My toe is fine... But my legs are killing me.

Hmmm...

Fish Spotting


Choose a tank... Choose your fish... Choose fake plastic plants with little green leaves...

Jen and I finally decided we were ready to open our hearts and our home to pets. We bought a fish tank about six weeks ago.

After waiting a week to let tank settle, we bought a pair of swordtails (one male, one female) on a Friday night. The males are yellow and silver. They're about two inches long with funny tails. The females are more orange and goldfish looking.

Swordtails are supposed to be fairly hardy. We figured they would be a good choice for our first fish. Unfortunately, we got off to a bit of a rough start. The female acted really weird all week (staying low, hiding behind things). The male started bouncing around and swimming into the walls of the aquarium. (I noticed the fish food we were using contained "fish meal". Had I given him mad fish disease? Gasp!)

The male was dead by Wednesday morning of the first week.

We’re we bad parents? Had we done something wrong? The temperature was fine. The chemistry readings all came back normal. I was beginning to lose hope. Maybe we had just gotten bad fish from the pet store.

Then, on the next Friday morning as I was feeding our one remaining fish, I noticed a few little floaty things near the rocks. Was that food floating around? Was it just a poo? I looked closer, and saw two little eyes looking back at me (was it a poo with eyes?). I also noticed that the adult female was suddenly a lot friskier.

I looked some more and I noticed 5 or 6 other pairs of little eyes. Baby fish. Cool.

As it turns out, the female was pregnant. Swordtails are "livebearers", so she may have come home from the pet store knocked up (and that helps explain the nutty behavior) (still not sure what was up with the male...).

Instead of going back to the pet store for replacement fish as we had originally planned, we bought some netting to seal off the babies from the dangerous areas of the tank. And it’s kinda funny... If I hadn’t spotted them that morning, the new fish we were going to get very easily could have eaten the babies and we never would have known.

We spent at least an hour that night fishing the babies out of the tank and getting them into the netted area. Just when we thought we were done, we would spot another one. And they can be pretty tough to catch when they don’t want to get caught. They like to hide between the rocks along the bottom. There were about 15 babies in all.

We’ve only lost six of the babies so far. And they’re getting big so fast. I don't know if the remaining fish will all live, but the whole "circle of life" thing taking place right in our living room was pretty neat to watch.

I'll keep you posted on how many survive.

Saturday April 24th, 2004: The Best Sports Saturday of My Life.


10:50 Saturday morning. The phone rings. It's my dad.

"What are you doing today?"

"Nothing major."

"You want to come watch the draft at Gillette?"

"Absolutely. I'll get there as soon as I can."

And like that, I was gone.

I got there as fast as I could (I may have actually exceeded the speed limit on the drive up). It was 11:58 by the time I parked my car (the draft starts at noon). But considering I had no advance warning, I think I did pretty well.

We were in the Fidelity Clubhouse area. Absolutely freakin' gorgeous. And they hand you three free drink tickets as you walk in the door (price of a beer without the ticket: $6.50).

There were actually a few thousand people there to eat, drink and cheer for players who might see the field five months from now. Cheerleaders walked around handing out signed pictures. It was quite the party.

The food was incredible. I was eating free beef and free swordfish and washing it down with free beer. Did I mention I wasn't paying for any of this?

And football. There was all kinds of football to talk about. Which teams needed what. Who was going to trade out. Was every team in the first round going to take a wide receiver?

Defensive Coordinator Romeo Crenel came out to talk to the crowd (and had to wait for the chants of "RO-ME-OH!" to die down before he could speak).

Offensive Coordinator Charlie Weiss came out and discussed why they made the pick they made in the first round.

Mr. Kraft showed up and thanked us for our support.

Is there anything quite like the NFL draft? Does anyone even care about the draft in other sports? I defy even the most die-hard Red Sox fan to name 2 picks from their last draft.

And there was also baseball to watch. The Sox beat the Yankees. Does it get any better than that? My only complaint is that the Red Sox game could have been on a few more TVs. There were only about 75 televisions in the room, and I had to get up and walk to check the score.

Considering the Patriots had the moving truck loaded up and pointed west a mere twelve years ago, it's amazing to see this much support and excitement in the off-season. The Patriots are the class of the league in the best-run league of all of professional sports.

April 28, 2004

Dear Governor Carcieri:

I am a 28-year-old professional living in North Kingstown, Rhode Island. I have lived and worked in the Providence area for seven years.

I am very fond of this area, and would like to buy a house and start a family here someday. Unfortunately, housing costs in this area have become unreasonable. I am at the point where I may be forced to move to another state to realize my dream of owning a home. If enough people like me come to the same conclusion, it will handicap the Rhode Island workforce for years to come.

Please let me know what you intend to do about the shortage of affordable middle-class housing in this area.

Very truly yours,



Patrick J. Canole

Feel free to link to my blog or forward it to any of your friends if you think they might like it (especially if you have friends in the publishing industry).

I'm skipping Part 2 of the "A Week Without Sugar" update. It was self-indulgent and boring.

Here's the summary:

A lot of things have sugar in them.
Writing down everything you eat is a pain in the ass.
I lost 5 pounds.

Remote Car Starter Guy

There's a guy in the next building over who loves his remote car starter.

He's probably in his late 50's or early 60's. I've only seen him 3 or 4 times. But I can pretty much guarantee that his Taurus is going to be running when I leave in the morning.

Sometimes, I'll go "pre-heat" my car on a really cold morning. I'm not above that. But I usually just start my car, go back into the house to brush my teeth, and get going. Remote starter guy lets his car run a good 20 - 30 minutes.

And not just on cold mornings. It was sixty degrees a few mornings this week and he was still letting his car warm up for 20 minutes (Dude... gas is two bucks a gallon right now...)

Will I be that nuts when I get older? I actually worry about these things.

Wackiness.

No Sugar Week (Part 1)

Candy. Cookies. Baked goods. These are my weaknesses. I’m ashamed to admit the percentage of my caloric intake that comes from sugary foods.

So I figured I’d try to go a week without just to see if I could do it. I still ate fruit (none of that Atkins crap for me... fiber is very important), but I'm going to try to go at least be a little smarter about what I eat and avoid processed sugar wherever possible. No soda. No cookies. No granola bars. No chocolate.

I will use my weight as a measuring stick... I’m not one of those people obsessed with what they weigh, but for our purposes here, it will serve as a measuring stick.

I wrote down everything I ate (I’m not going to repeat it all here... It gets very boring and repetitive...), but I also figured, if I’m going to suffer, I should at least get a few blog entries out of the process.


Day 1

171 pounds (I’m waaay down from where I’d like to be… I’ve lost a lot of muscle this winter).

I have raisin bran and orange juice for breakfast (which is a good amount of sugar right there, but I figure the fiber takes some of curse out of it).

I had a headache all afternoon. I miss my snacks.


Day 2

170 pounds.

I'm doing better this morning. Until somebody brings in donuts to work. Then my mouth starts watering thinking about donuts. I've got to stop thinking about donuts.

(I end up making it through the morning and not eating a donut).

I also discover Caffeine Free Diet Coke. There’s really not much left to Coke once you take out all the sugar and caffeine.


(stay tuned for Part 2...)

Warning - adult content:

Pat's toe

I broke my toe in karate last night.

I was just doing some warm up kicks over the in the corner before class and I caught the edge of my foot on a mat. I knew right away that something was wrong.

It was my right pinkie toe. I looked down and it was pointing waaay to the right (almost to 3 o'clock). It hurt like a mofo.

I felt pretty stupid. And damn that hurts.

At the very least, I was able to drive myself to the hospital...

There was a 1-year-old girl in front of me in the emergency room who had fallen down the stairs and broken her leg. The poor thing was screaming her head off. I felt like such a wuss seeking medical attention for my little toe.

I was there for about an hour and a half. They took an x-ray and taped me up. If I had known that’s all they were going to do, I would have done it myself and saved the $50 co-pay. But the way the toe was pointed off to the side like that, I wasn’t sure it was going to stay attached on its own. And they let me keep the x-rays.

So far, 2004 has been quite the year for health issues.

Bluh.

Today's tip of the day is:

Don't leave peanut butter crackers in your car (especially if you live in a wooded area).

I've bought two pairs of shoes in the last week.

I feel so metrosexual.

Things I'm into lately:

- writing
- "The Sopranos"
- sleep
- photography
- "Home Movies"
- Moneyball
- NFL draft rumors
- "Six Feet Under"


Things I'm not into:

- mustaches
- rain
- unseasonably cool weather

Planning a wedding... Wow... What a pain in the ass that is.

And there's no use in complaining. Your single friends don't want to hear about it. And your married friends just want to say "I told you so".

Recent pics:

http://members.cox.net/pcanole75/index.htm

Questions? Comments? Feedback?

pcanole75@cox.net

(repost)

A Boy and His Camera

I had picked out my model. I had read all the reviews. I knew what I wanted. It was time for a new camera. But since I'm "saving for a house", I figured I'd wait until after Christmas and try to catch a sale. And then suddenly, like a sign from the gods... IT came in the mail... A 10% off coupon for any one item at Best Buy. Pretty tempting, eh? Well, combine that with an excuse to go to lovely tax-free New Hampshire, and it was just too much to ignore ("I'll just look while we're up there...").

The drive north was a little rough. This was the day after my big gambling weekend. I was functioning on 3 hours of sleep. (see "War is not the answer..." from Monday, December 15, 2003 for the recap). We stopped at Best Buy and went directly to the camera section. I played with the floor model for a little while, adjusted the lens like I knew what I was doing, and took some sample shots.

Thankfully, the annoying sales-teens were pretty much ignoring me. Probably because they could tell what a "cool customer" I was. They knew they weren't going to rattle me with their extended warranty plans this time...

Acting casually, I went up to the counter and said, "I'll take it".

And what the sales-teen said next hit me like a slap in the face.

"I'm sorry, but that item is out of stock right now."

What?! I hadn't even considered that as a possibility.

"Do any of your other stores in the area have them in stock?"

"Nope. Nothing until Tuesday."

Ugh.

My coupon was about to expire that Monday.

I the store left feeling defeated. It was the blackjack table at Foxwoods all over again...

But I wasn't ready to give up that easily. On a whim, we stopped next door at Circuit City.

And they had it.

One left in stock.

I'll take it.

Even without the coupon, I was still saving the sales tax. I had come too far to turn back now...

And then as the guy was ringing me up, a thought occurred to me (this is where my boldness sometimes pays off...):

"Hey, do you accept your competitor's coupons?"

And he responded:

"Yeah, sure, let me take a look at it."

And they accepted it. Score.

I left with my new toy, feeling like I had just got one over on somebody.

Who was the big winner that weekend?

Me, Baby.

Me.

Dear Stop & Shop,

Your meat looked awful this week.

Sincerely,

John Wayne Bobbit

"School of Rock"

Has there ever been anyone like Jack Black? Could anyone else have played this role?

It's also nice to see a movie with kids in it where the kids don't act like annoyingly cute kids.


"The Sopranos"

Nothing on TV gets me revved up quite like the opening credits of the first episode of a new season of "The Sopranos".

I'm not going to go into specifics here (I know some people still haven't seen this week's episode), but even when the characters are going through the most mundane activities, it’s riveting. As always, the writing and acting are terrific.

And I really enjoy the flow of a 13 episode season instead of a 22 episode season. Much tighter.

HBO is definitely worth having.

Oscar picks

I don't know what to pick for either of the documentary categories this year... It doesn't look like there's anything about the Holocaust.

The "Sex and the City" series finale was awful. I had to go drink some warm milk afterwards for some excitement.

I think I'd like to be a teacher someday. I also think I'd like to buy a house someday. Unfortunately, I don't think there's any way I can do both.

Is there something going on with gay marraiges right now? I can't seem to find any information on the topic...

"Seabiscuit"

I wanted to like it. I really did. But they layed it on just a little too thick at times. It was beautifully filmed. And the acting was fine (although Jeff Bridges lapses into scenes from "Tucker: The Man and His Horse" a few times...), but director Gary Ross pushes the sentimentality buttons a little too hard.

Dear FCC,

Janet Jackson's breast exposure during the Super Bowl halftime show is definitely the most important issue facing our country right now.

Sincerely,

The Budget Deficit, AIDS, Terrorism, WMD in Iraq and The Economy

Why am I doing this again?

I went out and bought my books for this semester today. $158 for two books.

Two books.

WTF?

(I don't really have any witty or insightful commentary here, I just felt the need to share my outrage on how much textbooks cost...)

Last weekend, a group of our friends took us out for a "surprise engagement dinner". I had a blast.

Now, normally the inability of my friends to show up on time for anything bugs the crap out of me. But here, it was actually kinda charming. Everybody trickled in one or two at a time. It was kinda like an episode of "This Is Your Life".

I was touched.

"Frida"

Good music, good visuals, decent acting, gratuitous nudity, gratuitous Edward Norton... And yet, I still didn't like it.

It could be because the story sucked.

The first 1/2 was good. The story of her struggle to become a painter had me interested. And then it just turned into "keeping a marriage together is hard". Not much of interest happens during the last hour.

I found myself watching the clock and waiting for it to be over.

My 10 best albums of 2003:

1. The New Pornographers, Electric Version
2. The White Stripes, Elephant
3. The Strokes, Room on Fire
4. R.E.M., In Time: The Best of R.E.M. 1988-2003
5. Ted Leo & The Pharmacists, Hearts of Oak
6. Fountains Of Wayne, Welcome Interstate Managers
7. Radiohead, Hail To The Thief
8. Kill Bill, Vol. 1 Original Soundtrack
9. The Dandy Warhols, Welcome To The Monkey House
10. OutKast, Speakerboxxx/The Love Below

Dear Ben Stiller Romantic Comedies,

You're starting to look a little predictable.

Sincerely,

Hugh Grant Movies