Cake Party.

My favorite part of planning the wedding so far has been the cake tasting.

We had to get up early Thursday morning to make our appointment, but it was worth it.

The woman running the place made us feel important, but she didn’t fawn all over us. She seemed like she’ll be easy to work with.

We started to discuss cake ideas. We looked at pictures and menus. There was a brief moment of panic where I didn’t think I was going to get a piece of cake. And then finally she said, “Would you like to try a piece?”

Yes. Yes, I would.

And the cake itself was fantastic. Any time you want me to get excited about an important decision, just stick a piece of cake in front me.

She never even charged us for the coffee!

Tales from the Road.

It is Wednesday morning; the second day of our road trip. We are 20 miles outside of Utica on the Thruway (which is another way of saying the middle of nowhere).

By some fluke of weather, it is 25 degrees and raining. We have angered the travel gods. Because we haven’t been going for very long, the windshield is still cold and the rain sticks to the glass and freezes immediately. My brand new wipers do nothing. We are forced to pull over every ten minutes to scrape. My car looks like an Original Glazed. We finally pull in to a rest stop and buy some washer fluid that won’t freeze.

“That’s a pretty ugly hat you’ve got there,” the attendant says, referring to my faded blue hat with the bright red “B”.

“Thanks... I wear it with pride.”

“The pinstripes will be back next year,” he barks at me.

“Don’t count on it,” I shoot back.

I’m feeling a little more confident as we get on the road. I’m not going to let the weather or a Yankee fan get me down. I’ve got places to be.

Picture of the week.

Winter berries.

Dear toilet paper at work,

You've been a little rough lately.

Sincerely,

Sandpaper.

Pat's Beard

I haven't shaved since November 30th. A week in Buffalo at Christmas time looms on the horizon. This is the story of my beard...


Day 6 - Still fascinated by my own face. I spend more time in front of the mirror. I pause and stroke my chin when answering questions.

Day 7 - First off-color comment at work.

Day 10 - I see two friends I haven't seen in a while. Neither of them make a comment.

Day 11 - I get carded at the liquor store. Apparently, you should be able to grow a better beard if you're 21. At this point, it's just getting longer. It doesn't seem to be filling in on the sides.

Day 12 - I see a friend who I haven't seen in a while. She comments about it, then reaches out and gives a tug. I am flattered.

Day 14 - Horribly itchy. For the first time, I seriously contemplate shaving. We're starting to see a little curling action, but still no thickening.

Day 16 - Most recent photo.


I can't tell if the lack of comments is because people can't see it from 4 feet away, or if they feel bad about me not being able to grow a better beard.

Watch this space for more beard news...

Thank you, Adobe Photoshop.

You give us the power to make boring pictures into interesting ones.

A Special Holiday Message
by Pat Canole's Colon

Just wanted to drop in and say a quick "hello" before the holidays ramp up.

It's our busy time of year down here in Pat's intestines. Increased eating means more inventory to manage. And I don't even want to think about all the extra alcohol.

There's also the Annual Orgy of Cookies and Meats to attend in Buffalo (also known as "Christmas"). Man, they eat a lot of roast beef out there.

Anyway, that's all from this end. Have a fun, happy and safe holiday season. And don't forget to mix in a salad once in a while.