At the Gym

"Hey, you work here, right?"

"Yup."

"Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

"Go ahead."

"I hurt my hamstring a while back... I've been trying to build it back up slowly, but it's taking a really long time. Do you have any suggestions?"

"I think you're supposed to do squats for your legs. As much weight as you can handle."

"OK... Really? You think that's a good idea?"

"Sure. Go for it."

"What do you do for your personal workouts?"

"Oh, I don't work out."

"You don't work out? Aren't you a trainer?"

"Nope. I'm the janitor."

"Oh... Um... Well... Can you recommend a diet and nutrition plan for me?"

(pause)

"OK, sure."

New Feature Alert...

I'm looking for more places to use my pictures.

Picture of the week.

Quickie Movie Reviews

"The Bourne Supremacy" was really good.  I wish more popcorn movies could be this intelligent (it wasn't "Citizen Kane" or anything, but I'm sick to death of the "sarcastic comment / bad pun after the hero kills someone" style of action films).

"Bend it Like Beckham" was actually better than I expected.  Never underestimate the appeal of funny accents. 

"Love Actually" was pretty disappointing (although it does get the "extra 1/2 star for gratuitous nudity").

I only saw parts of "Bruce Almighty" and "S.W.A.T.", but I wasn't that impressed.

Grandma would have wanted me to be able to watch the Red Sox on her giant television...

We got a new TV last weekend.  I felt a little guilty asking to take Grandma's stuff so soon after she died, but the TV is a nice Sony that's barely a year old.  And if you don't ask, the answer is "no".  Besides, none of the other grandchildren would have enjoyed it as much as I will.

It's 32 inches.  It looks really big in our living room (I prefer to think the room is too small for the TV, rather than the TV being too big for the room...  There's NOTHING WRONG WITH THE TV!)  It actually takes up a little less floor space than the old TV because the stand fits better in the corner.

It's great because I'm enjoying the newness of having a new toy, without the guilt of having spent the money on something I didn't really need.  This should last me at least another 5 years or so (or until plasma TVs are under $1000).

So far, the "World Series of Poker" looks great...

And yes, I'm drinking plenty of water...
 
I hungry ALL the time now.

I'm running 3 times a week.  I'm lifting weights 2 - 3 times a week (not a lot, but just enough to tone things up).  And I'm going to karate 2 x per week.  So I've been fairly active lately.

In addition to 3 normal meals a day, I've been having healthy snacks at 10 AM and 4 PM.  It's 3 PM now.  And I have no idea how I'm going to make it another hour before I can eat again.  I can't focus on my work.

OK, that's all.  Thanks for listening. 
 

I'm Pat Canole and I approved this blog.

Def Haiku Slam
 
I’m the word ninja.
I came here to drop yo ass.
Word to your mother.
 
My beats have honor.
Your beats: weak like a fat man.
My poems have no rhymes.

I Love the 90s
 
For some reason, “I Love the 90s” just isn’t doing it for me.  VH1 did a great job with the 70s and 80s.  Maybe they’re picking the wrong topics.  Or overusing some of the people (I think there are quite a few people actually listing “VH1 Talking Head” under “primary source of income” on their tax returns now).  
 
Maybe it’s just too soon.  It’s hard to be that nostalgic for things that just happened. 
 
I also feel like they’re holding back something for a second installment (“I Love the 90s with a Vengeance” anyone?).
 
And the dancing baby is freaking me out.

Quiz answers:
 
1 - Miyagi, 2 - Yoda, 3 - Yoda, 4 - Miyagi, 5 - Miyagi

I plan on treating my kids like little adults... employees, actually.  They'll get annual performance reviews, raises, etc.  They'll have to meet certain minimum goals to be kept on staff.  Sure, it'll probably screw them up.  Isn't that inevitable?  But at least it'll be interesting to see how they get screwed up.

I had a tall caffe mocha today.  My first real coffee in months.
 
It was everything I hoped it would be...

Yoda or Miyagi Quiz

Guess which mystical teacher said each quote:

1) Teacher say, student do.

2) You must unlearn what you have learned.

3) No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try.

4) Man walk on road. Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk down middle, sooner or later, get squished

5) The sun is warm, the grass is green.


answers next week.

Notes from therapy...

"My family seems to bond over sports a lot. Is that weird?"

"Nah, as long as you're bonding over something."

I must be huge pain in the ass for my therapist. I'm all over the place in there. I can't seem to focus on any one thing for 5 minutes (nevermind a whole hour).

I can definitely say there have been no awkward silences as of yet.

(I don't know if all this is helping or not, but I'm trying.)

Top five showers:

5. The before bedtime shower on a hot summer night.
4. The post-workout shower.
3. The post-coital shower.
2. The "I've been camping for three days without a shower" shower.
1. The "I've been at the beach all day and I'm covered with sand, salt and sunblock" shower.

Movie review - "Bubba Ho-Tep"

Is it a metaphor for how we treat the elderly in this country? Is it a redemptive tale about rediscovering your true self? Is it really just about Elvis and JFK taking on a mummy? I don't think I've ever come across such an oddly compelling combination of "bittersweet" and "completely absurd". Not for everyone, but I found it very enjoyable. Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis are just about perfect in the lead roles.

Top twenty albums of the last twenty years in no particular order (or "Oh God, not another list..."):

Radiohead "OK Computer"... Nirvana "Nevermind"... R.E.M. "Automatic for the People"... Folk Implosion "One Part Lullaby"... New Pornographers "Electric Version"... Pavement "Slanted and Enchanted"... Rushmore Soundtrack... Beck "Odelay"... White Stripes "Elephant"... Moby "Play"... U2 "Achtung Baby"... Nirvana "In Utero"... The Pixies "Trompe Le Monde"... Sugar "Copper Blue"... Purple Rain Soundtrack... Dr. Dre "The Chronic"... Nine Inch Nails "Pretty Hate Machine"... The Lemonheads "It's a Shame About Ray"... Weezer (The Blue Album)... Def Leppard "Hysteria"...

(Honorable mention - Guns N' Roses "Appetite for Destruction")

I've done 200 jumping jacks each day for the last two days in karate. My calves hate me right now.

If you have any friends that are even remotely considering voting for Bush, take them to see "Fahrenheit 9/11".

If I had my own bumper sticker company:

It's a choice, not a child.

I (heart) sluts.

I (heart) porn.

I (heart) carbs.

Nice rack!

I just f***ed your wife.

My kid could kick your honor student's ass.

I'm a Boston Red Sox negative thinker.

I just got back from an almost perfect week in Gloucester, Mass. I've got a bunch of thoughts to share from the week, but I'm a little reluctant to start writing them down. Once I start writing about my vacation, that will somehow mean it's really over...