Thursday, March 08, 2012

Daddy Wednesday.  Week 4.

(Parenting pro tip:  Never wear black when spending the day with a baby.  Neutral colors hide the baby blam much better.)

9:00 - 9:45  First bottle of the day is always tough.  Just waiting for the first BIG POOP of the day before we go out (him, not me).

9:46 Annnnnd... There it is.

9:49 WHY ARE THERE SO MANY GODDAMNED BUTTONS THIS OUTFIT?!

10:05 Get dressed, Baby...  We're going out!

10:20 - 11:30 OUT!  Fresh air!  Sunshine!  Visiting!  Conversations!  With other adults!

11:30 Back home.  The house smells like stale coffee and asparagus pee with a hint of dog.  Might be time to open up a window.  (Note to self:  These are the things you don't realize when you don't leave the house.)  The boy is sleeping hard.

12:20 What is that sound?

12:22 Holy crap, Crazy Neighbor is blowing up a bouncy house.  (What other wacky antics am I missing while I'm at work during the day?)

12:30 I make a bagel for myself, then proceed to grab it from the toaster without having a plate to put it on.  Damn.  Again... Parenting kills brain cells.

1:35 Two hour nap.  Then sad.

1:45 After a bottle and a poop, he seems much better.

2:15 Aaga booga boo gabbas.

2:30 How big is Baby?  SO BIG!

2:45 - 3:00 Tummy time, peek-a-boo, rolling around on the floor, and general silliness.

3:02 I go to the bathroom then get the "Oh my God, I thought you were never coming back" look.

3:05 - 3:30 Walkies.  More fresh air.  Glorious.

3:32 I spot a hawk swooping over the area we were just walking.  LOOKING FOR TASTY TASTY BABY MEAT, NO DOUBT.

3:40 - 4:20 Unexpected second nap.  There might be something to this fresh air thing.

5:30 Back home with Mom.  I drop back down to #2 on the depth chart.

8:15 The boys are in bed.  The dog has been dewatered.  The trash has been taken out.  Magic Happy scotch Time for Daddy.

"You guys doing anything this weekend?"

"Not much.  Just having the Johnson-Weiners over for dinner."