Thursday, December 31, 2009

Panic!

Panic on the streets of Lincoln! Panic on the streets of Cumberland!


Damn, Line!

Why you so long?



Monday, December 21, 2009

That's Brisk


Go ahead, Dog.  Take your time to find the exact right spot to poop.  I know how important that is to you.

No, I can wait.  Even though I'm not covered in fur, I like being out here in the cold.

No, I'm fine.  Really.  Take your time.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Drive Home Every Night This Week


 "Christmas lights! Christmas lights! Christmas lights! Dad. Dad? Dad! CHRISTMAS lights! Christmas LIGHTS! CHRISTMAAAAS LIIIIIGHTS! DAD! DAD! DAD!"

Monday, December 14, 2009

Stop Poking Me!

I just finished my first acupuncture appointment.  I think it's working.

I had a bad run of bronchitis in October and into November.  I went to the walk-in clinic three times in six weeks (and had a cycle of antibiotics each time).  Ten weeks later, it's still lingering.  I'd say I've gotten to no more than 75 - 80% better.  Being 75% better sucks.  Nobody feels bad for you.  They expect you to do stuff.  And you don't get any more good drugs.

So rather than go back a fourth time, I figured I'd try something else.

We spent 20 minutes or so going over my medical history.  Then he took me into the back room and had my lie down.  He explained to me what each needle was for the treatment of (lungs, knees, allergies) as he put them in.  It was somewhat reassuring.  He also checked out tongue 3 or 4 times during the appointment.  Not really sure what that meant.

I was surprised to find the whole experience somewhat relaxing.  I was surprised to find I had been there for two hours when I put my watch back on.  The needles didn't really hurt at all (I felt them more on the way out).  I'm not afraid of needles, but it's always a little scary when someone you just met is stabbing you in the spine.

The only thing keeping me from falling asleep toward the end was my full bladder.  I definitely could have passed out.  When I stood up to put my clothes back on, my nose immediately started running.  He loosened up something in there.

He wants me off dairy for a few weeks.  That will probably be the hardest part (especially during Nog Season).

Kevork did good.  Part way though, I could feel my breathing get easier.  It was like when you're driving on that bumpy, scraped pavement where they're working on the road and you suddenly hit the smooth part of the road.  My lungs just felt smoother.  If he can get the last of this bronchitis to go, it will all be worth it.

Friday, December 11, 2009

You Can Probably Skip That Shower Today, Buddy...


The gym is a highly underrated source for comedy.

Yesterday, the guy on the treadmill next to me spent 4 or 5 minutes fumbling with his iPod and his phone (alternately dropping each one) before actually turning the treadmill on. 

He ran for 30 seconds at 4.7 MPH, then stopped to send text messages.

He got off the treadmill and walked around for a bit.

He then went over to a weight bench and got himself set up...

...and proceeded to send text messages for 5 minutes.

He then lifted the barbell (with NO weights on it) three times, sat back up, and started text messaging again.

Then his phone actually rang, so he left the room to take the call.

He came back five minutes later, picked up his stuff, announced "I gotta go pick up my kid!" to no one in particular, and left.

Whoa.

What made this all even better was the fact that the guy looked EXACTLY like Emeril Lagasse.  So, in my mind, each text message ended with "BAM!".



Total time at gym: 25 minutes

Text messages sent: 42

Calories burnt: 8

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Pat Miles by Month

(guess where I get sick...)



Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Monday, December 07, 2009

Free 'tude with Oil Change

"For $34, we can change that air filter for you."

"No, that’s OK."

"The dealership is going to charge you $82."

"I can change my own air filter."

"Oh... (long pause) Are you in the business?"

"No.  But I know how to change an air filter."


In the business?  Seriously?

I don’t want to say where I was, but it rhymes with Iffy Pubes.