Tuesday, November 08, 2011

BATHTIME

A one act play by P. Canole

SON:  I want to take a bath tonight.

FATHER runs bath.

2 minutes later

SON:  I don't waaant to take a baaaaaaath.

FATHER finally gets SON in the bath.

10 minutes later

SON:  I don't waaant to get out of the baaaaaaath.

FATHER gets SON out of the tub then goes downstairs and pours himself a drink.

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Halloween Costume 2011

I went as the Keymaster. 

Nailed it.


Monday, October 31, 2011

Circle of Life



I dropped off a bunch of old CDs at Newbury Comics on Saturday.

The guy actually thanked me for having interesting stuff to sell back.

Then I went and spent that money on insulation for the attic.

In other news, I am old.

Monday, October 24, 2011

New Porch Light

Before:


After:


I've been killing it around the house with projects lately.

Also, the new light is roughly 4 times brighter than the sun.

Up next: insulating the attic.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Goats.



"Hey... You going to eat that?" 

-- Every goat ever.
Furnace Man Blues

I'm waitin' on the Furnace Man.
Gonna be some time before he's here.

Oh... I'm waitin' on the Furnace Man.
Gonna be some time before he's here.

I don't know why I'm in such a hurry for him to get here...
I just gotta go to work when he's done.

(guitar solo)

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Dog Nose

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Post Irene Zombie Target


Open, but not fully open...
No Books for You



I am mildly inconvenienced!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Making New Friends

Monday morning.  York, Maine.  Day after a Sox - Yankees game.

I'm coming out of a store wearing my Red Sox shirt.  Old Guy (probably 70) wearing high end golf clothes sees my shirt as he's walking in.

Old Guy:  Who won the game last night?

Me:  Sox won 3 - 2 in the 10th.

Old Guy: GodDAMMIT!

Me:  Sorry to break your heart.


Relax, Old Guy.  It's early August.  Both teams are making the playoffs.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Have you ever been so hungry that you ate a fence?

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Liam Neeson - apparently his own genre now.

Friday, July 01, 2011

It's what's for dinner...

Jen: Do you want a fork or a spoon for your beef stew?

Little Man: Beef.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

My Day
 
First, let me start off by saying we've had a very positive daycare experience.

Phone rings.  It's daycare.  Daycare never calls just to say "hi".

"Hello, Mr. Canole?"

"Yes."

"This is the school nurse from daycare."

"Is everything OK?"

"Yes.  There's just a red spot on your son's arm that we're a little worried about."

"That's a mosquito bite.  We were out in the yard on Sunday and I smacked one off his arm."

"Well, I think it's ringworm."

"What?!"

"He'll have to get a note from the doctor."

"I'm pretty sure it's a mosquito bite."

"It's raised and very red."

"He's probably been scratching it."

"Well, either way, we'd like you to take him to the doctor."

"For a mosquito bite?"

"Well, I think it's ringworm."

"And if it's not?"

"Well, he'll have to get a note from the doctor."

"For a mosquito bite?"

"Yes."



And you know what it turned out to be?

(wait for it)...

A mosquito bite.

I understand wanting to be overly cautious.  But I just left work for the day and took my son to the doctor for...  a mosquito bite.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Little Man has acquired The Bomb.
 
 

Monday, June 06, 2011

(photo by J. Canole)

Buffalo Marathon 5/29/2011

I ran my first full marathon last week.

My goals were:

 - finish standing up

 - finish under 4:30

 - don't shit my pants


I'm proud to say I managed to achieve two of these goals.


Injuries

I had a variety of injuries leading up to race day.  I missed about 10 days in March and April because I tweaked my knee pretty bad.  They tell you to not ramp up your mileage too fast when you're training for a marathon.  They tell you to cross train and get other kinds of activities in other than running when you're training for a marathon.  I did not do these things.  Lesson = learned.

Two weeks before my race I cut my finger pretty badly and required 4 stitches.  While this didn't really have any impact on my race, it was pretty stupid on my part.

The final injury happened toward the end of my 20 mile training run (two weeks before race day).  I had a strange pain I had never felt before on the top of my right foot.  I thought it was the shoe's fault.  I briefly toyed with the idea of running the race in a different pair of shoes.  But two weeks isn't enough time to break in a new pair of shoes.  The pain didn't go away as I got closer to race day.  I convinced myself I had a stress fracture.  I started to panic.  I ended up taking a detour from the camping trip and finding an orthopedist in Ellicottville, NY (population: 12) two days before race day.  Long story short, I heard what I needed to hear: it's not broken and you're not going to do permanent damage to it by running ("the joint is irritated").

Race Day

The forecast was for rain (thunderstorms actually).  I did not sleep well the night before.  I got up at 5:30, ate my oatmeal, and got dressed.  I went out at 6:30 and made the "rain gear or sunscreen" call.  I went with sunscreen.  I was glad I did.

It ended up being hot and muggy.  Way too hot for Buffalo. 

Having done the half marathon twice, I was pretty familiar with the first 13 miles of the course.  After 13 the pack thinned out considerably.  There was a batch of us that I considered "my group".  There was a little bit of chatting, but not much.

The crowds were great.  Sure they don't get enough fiber and cheer for a lousy football team owned by Mr. Magoo, but the people of Western New York are genuinely good people.  The reactions were mostly positive, with a few "What the hell are you people doing?" faces thrown in.  I got a lot of compliments on my Red Sox hat.  I got high-fived by a cop.  And a priest.

Up to this point, the longest run I had ever done was the 20 mile training run two weeks before.  The marathon was worse than the 20 because of the heat.  The last half of my 20 was done in the rain.  Rain would have been much better.  I was toast for the last 3 or 4 miles.  The weather was too much.  I was zig zagging from side to side looking for whichever side of the street the shade was on (and I knew I had been out there a long time because I could smell that people were now cooking lunch instead of breakfast).  It wasn't that I was particularly sore or crampy.  I was just out of gas.  After training through a harsh winter and a cold, wet spring, my body just couldn't handle the heat.

I had to resort to the little mental tricks you play with yourself when you're first starting to run.  "Just run to that light post then you can take a break."  "Just run past this intersection and you can walk for a bit."

Eventually I made it.  Someone was sadistic enough to be offering beer at mile 25.  I politely declined.  I probably would have just stayed there if I had one.

I spent a few minutes feeling sorry for myself about not making my goal time.  And then I reminded myself that I just knocked a MAJOR LIFE GOAL off the to-do list.  So I got that going for me.  Which is nice.

The Next Day

I woke up super hungry.  My muscles ached with hunger.  Whoa...

I was sore, but not completely wrecked.  Little Man took charge of the "active recovery" part and made sure I don't sit too much.

There were some extra calories.  And a second cup of coffee.

Last year after my second half marathon I remember thinking that this was pretty nuts and I wasn't eager to try it again in the near future.  For some reason, I'm ready to go as soon as possible again this time.  I've definitely got another marathon in me.  And I'd like to see how I do under better conditions.

Thanks to my family and friends for putting up with me the last few months.


Monday, May 23, 2011

Short Short Story

(behind me while waiting in line for ice cream)

Girl 1: How was your prom?

Girl 2: It was great!  How was yours?

Girl 1: It was... OK.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Stitches

Monday, May 16, 2011

Lobstception

(photo by J. Canole)

Jen bought me a lobster pot for my birthday.

I was wearing my Maine Diner lobster shirt.


COINCIDENCE?!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

On the Bikepath...

13 Year-Old on a Skateboard:  "How far is it to the Lincoln Mall?"

Me:  "Jeez, probably another 4 or 5 miles."

[long pause]

13 Year-Old on a Skateboard:  "How far have we gone so far?"

Me:  "I don't know.  Where did you start from?"
Tulips

Friday, April 22, 2011

What Do You Call This Act?


Saturday, April 09, 2011

Cabin Air Filter (Before and After)






They told me they changed it at 75K miles. I'm skeptical.

Also, somebody has been leaving me presents.

Friday, April 08, 2011

Whiskey Friday



Scotch Friday has been temporarily replaced by Irish Whiskey Friday.  Please make a note of it and stop at the liquor store on the way home from work if necessary.

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Happy 5th Birthday, Daisy Dog

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Fried Apple Pies



These were tasty, but a lot of work.

I'm not usually a big deep fried kinda guy, but I figured it out pretty quickly.

Rule #1: Don't burn yourself.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011


Ribs

Friday, March 25, 2011

Thursday at the Gym


Characters ME (running on a treadmill, because it's too cold to go outside) and Old Guy, late 60s, on the treadmill at 2.0 MPH, who we'll call FRANKIE.


FRANKIE: They took my hip out.  I don't move so good these days.  Look at you!  You're doin' good.

ME: But you're still moving.  That's the important thing.

FRANKIE:  I can swim.  But that's about it these days.

ME:  Swimming is great for you.  I should be doing that more.

FRANKIE:  I used to run like you.  But not no more.  I run da Boston race there.

ME:  That's great!

FRANKIE:  I used to play basketball.

ME:  That's always how I end up hurting myself.

FRANKIE:  We were playing against some college kids from BC a while back.  Me and some guy.  And we beat them!  He says to me 'You're pretty good for your age.'  I tells him, 'Fuck you, I'm good for any age!  I just beat your ass!'



(FRANKIE then cracks himself up laughing and has a coughing fit.)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011


Spring

Q. What are you making?

A. Banana bread.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

"LOCKED OUT"

A short film by P. Canole


INT. OFFICE HALLWAY - DAY


COWORKER

You running today, Pat?

PAT

I sure am!

COWORKER

At the gym?

PAT

Nope.  I'm hitting the track.  I'm outside, Baby!


EXT. PAT WALKING ON SIDEWALK.  MIDDAY.  EARLY SPRING.  PAT HAS RUNNING CLOTHES ON.

PAT

(to self)

Boy, I sure can't wait to run on the track!

(smiling, looking around)

PAT WALKS AROUND CORNER AND SEES


PAT

(quietly at first)

No... No...  Just... No...

(then louder)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(a single tear falls down PAT's cheek... camera pulls back... rain starts to fall)

END

Monday, March 07, 2011

Parenting

Sometimes parenting is an amazing, rewarding, fulfilling experience.

And sometimes it's 20 minutes of "My sandwich is BROKEN!"

Saturday, March 05, 2011

Sorry Kids...

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Running Fuel


Monday, February 28, 2011

Dogs at Work


Work, dogs, work!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Modern Diner

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Pork!



FACT:  Pulled pork is delicious.

We had it in sandwiches on Sunday night.

Then I reheated it last night and threw it on top of some ramen noodles with stir fried pea pods.

Awesome.
Bike Path



Oh when oh when will I get my bike path back?

So sad.

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Well, I did just come in from letting the dog out...

Little Man:  I don't like your cold hands, but we can still be friends.

Friday, February 04, 2011

She Sounds Delightful!

Thursday, February 03, 2011

In the Kitchen

I've been KILLING it in the kitchen lately.

Behold my latest creation:  beef, broccoli and ginger scallion sauce over noodles.


Friday, January 28, 2011

Snow Dude

 
Know Your Days of the Week


Me: Little Man, do you know what day it is?

Little Man:  No.

Me:  It's Thursday.

(five seconds later)

Little Man:  Mom, do you know what day it is?

Jen:  What day is it?

Little Man:  It's THURSDAY!

Friday, January 21, 2011

NERDGASM!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Bubble Beard

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Sorry Dude...  Flow Chart Says "No"

That's Tough Work

After tuning up the bike...


...Little Man was exhausted.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I Just Blew His Mind...


Little Man:  What's that big building?

Me:  That's the Dunkin' Donuts Center.  They have basketball games and hockey games and concerts there.

Little Man: Do they sell donuts?

Me:  Sure.  I think so.

Little Man:  BASKETBALL AND DONUTS!?!

Sunday, January 02, 2011

TV connected to the... PC.

PC connected to the... Wireless Router.

Wireless Router connected to the... Cable Modem.

Cable Modem connected to the... Internet.

...And hear the word of the Lawd.