Loan Request

"So I understand you're looking for a loan?"

"Yes."

"For your... Video game company?  Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"OK then... Have you ever run a company before?"

"No."

"Have ever worked in the video game industry?"

"Ah... no."

"Well... How about a related technology field?"

"Also no."

"So... What relevant skills are you bringing to the table here?"

"None, really."

"And what was your previous job?"

"I used to throw a baseball for a living."

"OK.  I'm convinced.  Here's $100 million."

Don't Look


"OH MY GOD!"

"What is it?!"

"It... It's huge!"

"What?"

"I knew it would be bad... But I didn't think it would be THAT bad."

"What are you talking about?"

"There... Look! It's the July electric bill."

"AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarggghhhhh!"

"Don't make eye contact with it... Maybe it didn't see us."

I swear this conversation actually happened...

"So what do you get for gas mileage in that thing?"

"My Fit? 35 - 36. A little bit better than advertised."

I point to his Vette.

"What do you get for mileage in that thing?"

"Low 20s in the city. Maybe 28 on the highway."

"What's your 0 - 60?"

"Don't know... Under 5."

"Yeah, I'm almost twice that."

"They got a Chevy coming out gonna get 250 miles per gallon."

"Yeah, but it ain't out yet."

"I'm a gonna have them make my Hummer a hybrid."

"What?!"

"Yeah. Dealer says he can do it for $15 thousand."

"You're going to spend $15 grand to retro-fit a Hummer as a hybrid?"

"Yeah, sure. Why not?"

"Wouldn't that money be better spent on a new car that got better mileage? Or, you know, gas?"

"Yeah, but this one is a collectible, Man. They don't make them anymore."

"OK."

He was late 30s. A war veteran according to his plates. And apparently had eff you money.

He was of mixed ethnicity. Maybe half Asian, half Hispanic.

And all Ro Dilunduh.