To: K. Martin

From: D. Cheney

RE: Update of Seven Dirty Words

Kevin - how's it going? Listen, it's time to update the old "seven dirty words" list. The following words and phrases should not be allowed on the air under any circumstances: "NARAL", "Schiavo", "WMD", "torture", "Abu Ghraib", "Abramoff" and "Katrina".

Also, rather than try to ban them, phrases such as "universal health care" and "trade deficit" will simply be removed from the English language entirely.

Some other words, such as "black people", are OK in certain context. The sentence "Condoleeza Rice is a shining example to black people" is OK. The sentence "George Bush hates black people" is not OK.

Let me know if you have any questions.

- DC

P.S. You've been signed up to bring napkins and paper cups to the next Crawford BBQ.