Pat's song of the week:

Beck - "E-Pro"

Go get it now!

Picture of the Week.

No crushing heartburn.
I can drink coffee again.
Thank you, Nexium.

Satellite Radio: The Best Thing Ever?

Hi. My name is Patrick. I have a problem. I can't stop listening to my satellite radio. March 6th, 2005 will forever be known as The Day I Moved to Satellite.

After plunking down the credit card and signing up for the installation, there was about a 15-minute period of buyer's remorse. I DO spend a lot time in my car. And I've got a few long road trips planned. But this was an awful lot of money to be spending on myself. Was this really the best way to spend that money?

And then, after it was installed and activated, I finally got the chance to play with it. And I instantly fell in love with it.

You're probably asking yourself "Why would I pay for radio? I'm getting it for free in my car right now." Well, do you remember when you used to get 4 television stations and thought that was all you needed? Cable television came along and changed everything. The leap from regular commercial radio to satellite radio is a lot like that (and now that you've gone to cable, will you ever go back to just 4 TV channels? Didn't think so.) The "old" stereo in my car has presets for 12 FM channels. I would say that maybe 3 of them are worthy of that status.

I love music. I listen to a lot of music. At home. At work. In the car. If I don't have the radio on at home, I'm usually listening to a CD or searching for a television channel that still shows videos. Like cable, satellite radio gives you the opportunity to go out and find what it is you're really interested in. Specialization is a beautiful thing. You like bluegrass? How does a whole channel of bluegrass 24 hours a day sound? Whatever you are into, they've got it. I've got a channel that only plays Elvis. I've got 6 country stations that I'll never listen to (but I'm OK with that). Even if I only ever listen to 25% of the stations I have at my disposal, my radio universe has been significantly expanded.

But there is more than just music. You like sports? How does EVERY NFL game sound? Even better - how about a channel devoted to talking about football all year long? The sports community is well represented by satellite radio (and there are rumors of the existence of some type of "National Hockey League", but I can't confirm that just yet…). There are dozens of channels of talk, entertainment, news and weather. You also get free streaming audio on your computer at no extra charge. How cool is that?

The DJs are on satellite radio are unobtrusive. They come on for a few quick seconds, give you a little bit of information, and then move on. And if you want to know the name of the song and you simply can't wait, you just check the display for full artist and song title information (I can't tell you how many times I've said, "Who is THAT?" in the last two weeks and had to pause and check). You don't have to wait 20 minutes for somebody who might tell you what he or she played. You can also get a full listing of what other stations are playing at the moment with the press of a button. And did I mention there are no commercials? Yeah. That's right. No commercials. My only complaint is the sound quality. It's not quite CD quality, but it's very good.

It's not just the sheer number of stations; it's the depth and breadth of music that each station plays within its genre. Absolutely amazing. One of the things I miss most about college is the exposure you get to all different kinds of music. I haven't been able to recreate that until now. I've heard artists I've never heard before on the radio. I've heard songs by bands that I completely forgot about. I've heard songs I've never heard by groups I thought I knew fairly well. I can't wait for my first long road trip with satellite radio.

If you're the guy that is happy with radio stations that play the same 12 songs every 90 minutes, then stick with "free" commercial radio. Otherwise, there are brave new worlds out there waiting for you to explore.

Where was this "culture of life" when we were invading Iraq? Just curious.

Here's my top 10 movies for 2004. I haven't seen every movie that came out last year, but I've seen enough.

1. The Incredibles
2. Kill Bill, Vol. 2
3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
4. Napoleon Dynamite
5. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
6. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
7. The Bourne Supremacy
8. I Heart Huckabees
9. Hero
10. Garden State

SEVERE GAS ALERT

A SEVERE GAS ALERT has been issued for the area around PAT'S OFFICE.

Forecasters predict a 90 percent chance of gas.

If unstable atmospheric conditions persist, the PAT'S APARTMENT area could be affected later in the day.

Brown out conditions are possible.

This warning will remain in effect until further notice.

Pat's song of the week:

...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead - "Worlds Apart"

Go get it now!

New fishes.

We added a few new fish over the weekend (2 pearl gouramis). Their description reads:

Social: Peaceful, suitable for community tank
Care: Easy

Sounds PERFECT for our tank.

I wish they’d stay still long enough for a picture. They’re quite beautiful.

Current tank count: 4 swordtails, 2 gouramis, 2 catfish.

Whack-A-Mole

I’ve been to a dermatologist twice in my life now (the most recent visit being last Thursday). Both times, I went in thinking I was just going to have something “looked at”. And both times, the guy was coming at me with a knife and a needle before I knew what was happening.

Dermatologists are men (and women) of action. No “just looking” for them.

Consider yourself warned.

Pat's song of the week:

The Go! Team - "Ladyflash"

Go get it now!

"Good morning, Pat."

"Good morning, Mr. Shovel! You ready to do some work today?"

"Not really... Just put me away for the rest of the winter... I'm exhausted."

"But I need you today. And there might be more snow this weekend."

"Oh man... This is too much. I can't take any more winter. Can you just ship me to Florida? I've got to find a new line of work."

"Hmmm... I don't think there's much demand for snow shovels in Florida. How 'bout we just get through the next few weeks and you can spend the whole summer just hanging in the shed?"

"All right. But if April 1st comes around and it's still snowing, I'm buying a one way bus ticket to someplace south."

"Yeah. You and me both."

So that Driscoll bitch is finally outta here. Her daughter was so annoying. I was going to pop her myself if she didn't shut up. She was all like "Boo hooo! Mommy! Pay attention to me." Puh-lease. We're working on issues of national security here!

I thought maybe I'd be in line to take over now that Driscoll's gone, but they made Tony the interim director of CTU. What's up with that? Who the hell does he think he is?

It's two thousand and... whatever year it is. A black man can be President of the United States, but a black man can't run CTU? Damn. I don't know who this Secretary Heller guy thinks he is. But I'm going to give him a piece of my mind next time I see him in the men's room.

And I haven't gotten to torture anyone in like 2 hours. WTF?

Jack seems pretty cool though. I don't mind working with him.

I'll post more later if I get a chance. Looks like I'll be working late tonight.

-- Curtis

State of the Pat Address

The Filenes registry did not make the final cut. If you've somehow seen that one, don't use it.

Angry divorced guy is back. He's our neighbor that never makes eye contact with you. In the last 8 weeks, he's been home all of 3 days. No idea where he's been. I'm hoping he's back for good, because I'd hate to have to go all summer without overhearing phone conversations like "I HOPE YOU'RE ENJOYING THE HOUSE!"

I've got a sports talk radio habit that I picked up somewhere along the way. It's been 2 - 3 hours a day. Nasty. I'm waiting for some kind of gum or patch to help me quit.

Don't be offended if you don't hear from me much over the next few months. It's going to be like the baseball playoffs. Only worse. Ten times worse.

A Bar Mitzvah? Mazel Tov!

I went to my first Bar Mitzvah a few weeks back. I rather enjoyed the experience.

The ceremony itself was fairly similar to the Catholic ceremonies from my upbringing. You sit. You stand. There’s a “call and response” section. (But no kneeling... Amen.) All you have to do is substitute “Israel” for “Jesus” once in a while and you can almost use the same text.

The ceremony was more family oriented than I remember a confirmation being. Mother, father, sister and cousins were all involved at various points in the ceremony. I don’t know if that’s true of Bar Mitzvahs in general or if that’s just the way this particular temple does things.

There was some type of ark at the front of the temple. I told Jen to keep her eyes closed in case they opened it.

I also never realized how much Hebrew sounds like Klingon. Simply take out the singing and grunt a little more.

After the ceremony, we moved to the Squantum Club in East Providence. This part was more like a typical thirteen year old’s birthday party. A DJ blasted music from the corner. Two professional dancing girls lead the kids through the Electric Slide and the other standard dances. There were presents and cake.

I wore my brand new brown velvet jacket (which, of course, I didn’t pay full price for). However, I went home disappointed when nobody commented on it all day. I was hoping for a “What is that? Velvet?”

Pat's Guidelines for Picking the Oscars.

Print this out and save it for next year. You'll be glad you did.

(Usually, you can stop when you hit the first item, but some years you'll want to scan the whole list and figure out which nominee picks up the most points from these lists.)

Major categories first.

Acting awards:

1) Always look for the person who is playing a retard, the person who changed their appearance the most, or the pretty person playing an ugly character.

2) Pick the actor playing an actual person (especially if they had to overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles).

3) Pick the well liked industry veteran who has been nominated before but hasn't won an Oscar yet.

4) Pick the actor playing a title character.

5) In the supporting catagories, pick the person in the Clint Eastwood movie.

6) Never pick someone in a comedy for a lead role.

Best Picture:

1) Pick whichever one made the most money.

2) Never pick a comedy.

3) Action movies can only win editing and sound awards.

Director:

1) Never pick Scorsese.

Animated film:

1) Pick the Pixar film.

Costumes and Makeup:

1) Pick the film set furthest in the past.

In the documentary and short subject categories, pick them in this order:

1) the movie about the Holocaust

2) the movie about retarded people

3) the movie about kids

(If there's ever a movie about retarded Jewish kids escaping Nazi Germany, bet the house on that one).

Animal Shelter Update

Saturday was a good day with the doggies at the animal shelter.

The first dog I walked was Ralph. He's a year old lab mix. He's got tons of energy and personality. I don't expect Ralph to be there next week, as there's already a five family waiting list of people who want to take him home. They were lining up at the door to adopt him. I've never seen anything like that.

I spent a few minutes with Cookie. She's a pit bull mix. She doesn't do too well with other dogs, but she'll let you walk her.

Finally, I spent some extra time with Kennedy. She's a female Rottweiler that needed a little grooming (and still needs a lot of exercise - whoa - she's got to be close to 105 pounds...).