Tales from Behind the Gun

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Item: Wedding Registry Story
Quantity: 1


“Quit pointing that thing at me and scan this spatula.”

“Hey, can we register for a puppy?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because. We can’t have a puppy right now.”

“How ‘bout cash? Can we just register for cash?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Now come here and help me with this stuff.”

“Hey, come feel these towels! So soft!”

And like that, we were off.

We started our wedding registry at Filene’s on a Friday night (despite my best lobbying efforts, Best Buy was not one of our options). There were at least two other couples there doing the same thing. I gave the “nod of acknowledgment” to the other men as we passed through the aisles.

Jen and I have both been living on our own for several years now (and the last two together), so it’s not like we need all the basic household items you need when you first move out of your parents’ house. But we’ve been out long enough that some the things we first bought when we moved out are starting to break down. Sheets and towels are starting to wear out. The blender is going. The rice steamer doesn’t even get warm anymore. So basically we’re looking at this as a chance to upgrade all our stuff on somebody else’s dime.

(Now that I look at that in print, it sounds horribly selfish, but it’s not meant to sound that way...)

(Actually, I take that back... Buy us some presents, dammit!)

Part of the fun was looking at all the stuff we didn’t know we needed. Who knew they made 500 thread-count sheets? And can we really ask somebody to spend $200 on a set of sheets for us? Obviously, we don’t expect people to buy us everything on our various wish lists... But damn... The things I could do if I had the things we’re asking for (and, of course, a bigger kitchen).

Will we actually use all this stuff? We started to get a little out of control with the scanning gun the first night. The rule we came up with was that it needed to be something we’d use at least twice a year to make it worth the space it would take up in our modest apartment. It can be tough to edit yourself when your inner consumer is telling you that this is your chance to ask for everything you’ve wanted (an iPod? Sure. Someone will buy us that).

As it turns out, Jen is really good at this. I can’t help but watch her with a certain degree of admiration as she swoops from aisle to aisle, consulting her list and improvising where necessary. (I seem to have a bit of a planning fetish. Is it strange to list “efficiency” under someone’s most attractive characteristics?) This is definitely the woman for me. I’m looking forward to filling our home with reasonably priced gifts together...