"How be the product?"
"ARrrrgghhhh... These be good quality bootlegs."
"'Tis true... These new digital video camcorders make it much easier to shoot a movie in the theaters."
"Aye."
"You're too young to remember doing this job back in the days of VHS... Ye could fit nearly half as much cargo on a boat... These DVD's make our lives much easier..."
"Aye... These be good times for men in our line of work."
"Aye... C'mon... We've got a good bit of sailing to do if we're going to make San Juan by nightfall..."
A scene from...
Movie Pirates of the Caribbean
Thursday, May 27, 2004
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
It's getting a little crowded in the fish tank...
So the mama fish just had another batch of babies. That's three (three... batches? litters? schools? whatever) if you're counting at home. The male has been dead for several weeks.
We were beginning to suspect divine intervention before we came across this tidbit:
"Once the eggs are fertilized it takes from four to six weeks for the first batch of babies to appear. However, because females can store sperm, there may be successive batches of babies within four- to six-week intervals for six to eight months."
SIX TO EIGHT MONTHS?!
It might be time to mix a little fish birth control into the tank.
So the mama fish just had another batch of babies. That's three (three... batches? litters? schools? whatever) if you're counting at home. The male has been dead for several weeks.
We were beginning to suspect divine intervention before we came across this tidbit:
"Once the eggs are fertilized it takes from four to six weeks for the first batch of babies to appear. However, because females can store sperm, there may be successive batches of babies within four- to six-week intervals for six to eight months."
SIX TO EIGHT MONTHS?!
It might be time to mix a little fish birth control into the tank.
Sunday, May 23, 2004
So I'm at Outback Steakhouse on Saturday night and I'm horrified by how ridiculously overweight we've become as a people (although that didn't stop me from ordering the grilled shrimp appetizer). In every direction I looked, there's another fat person. Kids, too.
And then it hits me – industrial strength chair reinforcement. This could be a serious financial opportunity.
Just think of all the homes and businesses that are going to need stronger chairs over the next 20 years. These fat kids are going to grow into fat adults. And it's not just chairs... benches, stadium seats and car seats are all going to need to be reinforced.
Sounds like a million dollar idea, no?
I will be opening the first round of startup funding shortly. Send your checks in early.
And then it hits me – industrial strength chair reinforcement. This could be a serious financial opportunity.
Just think of all the homes and businesses that are going to need stronger chairs over the next 20 years. These fat kids are going to grow into fat adults. And it's not just chairs... benches, stadium seats and car seats are all going to need to be reinforced.
Sounds like a million dollar idea, no?
I will be opening the first round of startup funding shortly. Send your checks in early.
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
I'm too tired to organize these thoughts into any kind of narrative, so here are my notes on my weekend visit to New York City:
Connecticut: The Tailgating State. It's always a huge pain in the ass to drive through.
Central Park - I could have spent all day people watching. There must have been about 10,000 people.
Weather - It was hot. People weren't wearing a lot of clothing. I'm not complaining.
Restaurants - Somehow, New York has a 1 to 1 person to restaurant ratio. We tried three of them.
Subway - I love public transportation. You can drink all you want without worrying about driving home.
Cash - I have no idea where I spent $100 in a little over 24 hours. It just disappeared.
Dog park - It was fun watching the dogs run around in the fenced-in areas (separate areas for big dogs and little dogs). If could just get 15 minutes per day of dog time, I'd be good. Unfortunately, they don't let people without dogs into the fenced-in areas. Snobs.
Connecticut: The Tailgating State. It's always a huge pain in the ass to drive through.
Central Park - I could have spent all day people watching. There must have been about 10,000 people.
Weather - It was hot. People weren't wearing a lot of clothing. I'm not complaining.
Restaurants - Somehow, New York has a 1 to 1 person to restaurant ratio. We tried three of them.
Subway - I love public transportation. You can drink all you want without worrying about driving home.
Cash - I have no idea where I spent $100 in a little over 24 hours. It just disappeared.
Dog park - It was fun watching the dogs run around in the fenced-in areas (separate areas for big dogs and little dogs). If could just get 15 minutes per day of dog time, I'd be good. Unfortunately, they don't let people without dogs into the fenced-in areas. Snobs.
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Dear Canada,
How's things there? I've been sooo busy lately. Sorry I haven't had time for a visit.
Listen, if Dubya gets re-elected in November, can I move in with you? I know he may not seem THAT bad at first (and it was kinda cool when he was handing out three hundred dollar checks to everyone), but after you've lived with him for a while, you really regret it.
Plus, he won't stop pissing off the neighbors.
Let me know what you think.
Thanks,
Pat
P.S. Thanks for bringing Tim Hortons to Rhode Island, eh?
How's things there? I've been sooo busy lately. Sorry I haven't had time for a visit.
Listen, if Dubya gets re-elected in November, can I move in with you? I know he may not seem THAT bad at first (and it was kinda cool when he was handing out three hundred dollar checks to everyone), but after you've lived with him for a while, you really regret it.
Plus, he won't stop pissing off the neighbors.
Let me know what you think.
Thanks,
Pat
P.S. Thanks for bringing Tim Hortons to Rhode Island, eh?
Thursday, May 06, 2004
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
Sunday, May 02, 2004
Fish Spotting
Choose a tank... Choose your fish... Choose fake plastic plants with little green leaves...
Jen and I finally decided we were ready to open our hearts and our home to pets. We bought a fish tank about six weeks ago.
After waiting a week to let tank settle, we bought a pair of swordtails (one male, one female) on a Friday night. The males are yellow and silver. They're about two inches long with funny tails. The females are more orange and goldfish looking.
Swordtails are supposed to be fairly hardy. We figured they would be a good choice for our first fish. Unfortunately, we got off to a bit of a rough start. The female acted really weird all week (staying low, hiding behind things). The male started bouncing around and swimming into the walls of the aquarium. (I noticed the fish food we were using contained "fish meal". Had I given him mad fish disease? Gasp!)
The male was dead by Wednesday morning of the first week.
We’re we bad parents? Had we done something wrong? The temperature was fine. The chemistry readings all came back normal. I was beginning to lose hope. Maybe we had just gotten bad fish from the pet store.
Then, on the next Friday morning as I was feeding our one remaining fish, I noticed a few little floaty things near the rocks. Was that food floating around? Was it just a poo? I looked closer, and saw two little eyes looking back at me (was it a poo with eyes?). I also noticed that the adult female was suddenly a lot friskier.
I looked some more and I noticed 5 or 6 other pairs of little eyes. Baby fish. Cool.
As it turns out, the female was pregnant. Swordtails are "livebearers", so she may have come home from the pet store knocked up (and that helps explain the nutty behavior) (still not sure what was up with the male...).
Instead of going back to the pet store for replacement fish as we had originally planned, we bought some netting to seal off the babies from the dangerous areas of the tank. And it’s kinda funny... If I hadn’t spotted them that morning, the new fish we were going to get very easily could have eaten the babies and we never would have known.
We spent at least an hour that night fishing the babies out of the tank and getting them into the netted area. Just when we thought we were done, we would spot another one. And they can be pretty tough to catch when they don’t want to get caught. They like to hide between the rocks along the bottom. There were about 15 babies in all.
We’ve only lost six of the babies so far. And they’re getting big so fast. I don't know if the remaining fish will all live, but the whole "circle of life" thing taking place right in our living room was pretty neat to watch.
I'll keep you posted on how many survive.
Choose a tank... Choose your fish... Choose fake plastic plants with little green leaves...
Jen and I finally decided we were ready to open our hearts and our home to pets. We bought a fish tank about six weeks ago.
After waiting a week to let tank settle, we bought a pair of swordtails (one male, one female) on a Friday night. The males are yellow and silver. They're about two inches long with funny tails. The females are more orange and goldfish looking.
Swordtails are supposed to be fairly hardy. We figured they would be a good choice for our first fish. Unfortunately, we got off to a bit of a rough start. The female acted really weird all week (staying low, hiding behind things). The male started bouncing around and swimming into the walls of the aquarium. (I noticed the fish food we were using contained "fish meal". Had I given him mad fish disease? Gasp!)
The male was dead by Wednesday morning of the first week.
We’re we bad parents? Had we done something wrong? The temperature was fine. The chemistry readings all came back normal. I was beginning to lose hope. Maybe we had just gotten bad fish from the pet store.
Then, on the next Friday morning as I was feeding our one remaining fish, I noticed a few little floaty things near the rocks. Was that food floating around? Was it just a poo? I looked closer, and saw two little eyes looking back at me (was it a poo with eyes?). I also noticed that the adult female was suddenly a lot friskier.
I looked some more and I noticed 5 or 6 other pairs of little eyes. Baby fish. Cool.
As it turns out, the female was pregnant. Swordtails are "livebearers", so she may have come home from the pet store knocked up (and that helps explain the nutty behavior) (still not sure what was up with the male...).
Instead of going back to the pet store for replacement fish as we had originally planned, we bought some netting to seal off the babies from the dangerous areas of the tank. And it’s kinda funny... If I hadn’t spotted them that morning, the new fish we were going to get very easily could have eaten the babies and we never would have known.
We spent at least an hour that night fishing the babies out of the tank and getting them into the netted area. Just when we thought we were done, we would spot another one. And they can be pretty tough to catch when they don’t want to get caught. They like to hide between the rocks along the bottom. There were about 15 babies in all.
We’ve only lost six of the babies so far. And they’re getting big so fast. I don't know if the remaining fish will all live, but the whole "circle of life" thing taking place right in our living room was pretty neat to watch.
I'll keep you posted on how many survive.
Saturday April 24th, 2004: The Best Sports Saturday of My Life.
10:50 Saturday morning. The phone rings. It's my dad.
"What are you doing today?"
"Nothing major."
"You want to come watch the draft at Gillette?"
"Absolutely. I'll get there as soon as I can."
And like that, I was gone.
I got there as fast as I could (I may have actually exceeded the speed limit on the drive up). It was 11:58 by the time I parked my car (the draft starts at noon). But considering I had no advance warning, I think I did pretty well.
We were in the Fidelity Clubhouse area. Absolutely freakin' gorgeous. And they hand you three free drink tickets as you walk in the door (price of a beer without the ticket: $6.50).
There were actually a few thousand people there to eat, drink and cheer for players who might see the field five months from now. Cheerleaders walked around handing out signed pictures. It was quite the party.
The food was incredible. I was eating free beef and free swordfish and washing it down with free beer. Did I mention I wasn't paying for any of this?
And football. There was all kinds of football to talk about. Which teams needed what. Who was going to trade out. Was every team in the first round going to take a wide receiver?
Defensive Coordinator Romeo Crenel came out to talk to the crowd (and had to wait for the chants of "RO-ME-OH!" to die down before he could speak).
Offensive Coordinator Charlie Weiss came out and discussed why they made the pick they made in the first round.
Mr. Kraft showed up and thanked us for our support.
Is there anything quite like the NFL draft? Does anyone even care about the draft in other sports? I defy even the most die-hard Red Sox fan to name 2 picks from their last draft.
And there was also baseball to watch. The Sox beat the Yankees. Does it get any better than that? My only complaint is that the Red Sox game could have been on a few more TVs. There were only about 75 televisions in the room, and I had to get up and walk to check the score.
Considering the Patriots had the moving truck loaded up and pointed west a mere twelve years ago, it's amazing to see this much support and excitement in the off-season. The Patriots are the class of the league in the best-run league of all of professional sports.
10:50 Saturday morning. The phone rings. It's my dad.
"What are you doing today?"
"Nothing major."
"You want to come watch the draft at Gillette?"
"Absolutely. I'll get there as soon as I can."
And like that, I was gone.
I got there as fast as I could (I may have actually exceeded the speed limit on the drive up). It was 11:58 by the time I parked my car (the draft starts at noon). But considering I had no advance warning, I think I did pretty well.
We were in the Fidelity Clubhouse area. Absolutely freakin' gorgeous. And they hand you three free drink tickets as you walk in the door (price of a beer without the ticket: $6.50).
There were actually a few thousand people there to eat, drink and cheer for players who might see the field five months from now. Cheerleaders walked around handing out signed pictures. It was quite the party.
The food was incredible. I was eating free beef and free swordfish and washing it down with free beer. Did I mention I wasn't paying for any of this?
And football. There was all kinds of football to talk about. Which teams needed what. Who was going to trade out. Was every team in the first round going to take a wide receiver?
Defensive Coordinator Romeo Crenel came out to talk to the crowd (and had to wait for the chants of "RO-ME-OH!" to die down before he could speak).
Offensive Coordinator Charlie Weiss came out and discussed why they made the pick they made in the first round.
Mr. Kraft showed up and thanked us for our support.
Is there anything quite like the NFL draft? Does anyone even care about the draft in other sports? I defy even the most die-hard Red Sox fan to name 2 picks from their last draft.
And there was also baseball to watch. The Sox beat the Yankees. Does it get any better than that? My only complaint is that the Red Sox game could have been on a few more TVs. There were only about 75 televisions in the room, and I had to get up and walk to check the score.
Considering the Patriots had the moving truck loaded up and pointed west a mere twelve years ago, it's amazing to see this much support and excitement in the off-season. The Patriots are the class of the league in the best-run league of all of professional sports.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)