PLEASE CALL THIS NUMBER. WE HAVE IMPORTANT INFORMATION REGARDING YOUR ACCOUNT.

We've gotten 3 automated phone calls from a computerized voice in the last two weeks asking us to call them back about our account with the gas company. It's obviously not the actual gas company making the call. When you look up the number, it looks like a collection agency.

Oh crap.

We pay our bills on time, but we have an usual situation at home. We have gas hot water, but oil heat. The gas company has been "estimating" our last few bills as if we have gas heat as well. They've been astronomically high. So I've been "estimating" our payments based on what I think they should be. I've explained to them on the phone several times that we really don't use gas for heating the house. When they actually come out and read the meter, they see that we don't owe them anything and we're actually ahead on our payments. But I thought maybe they had had enough of my estimates and were sicking the collection agency on us.

So I called up the mystery number today, and it turns out the collection agency was looking for Frances, a previous owner of the house.

"Um, she's dead."

(slight pause)

"OK... I'll close out this account!"

Nothing shuts up the collection agency like telling them the person they're after is gone.

That was a bit of a relief. I'm glad they weren't after us. I'm guessing they were calling us because they finally found a working phone number to go with our address again. I wonder how long those calls would have continued if I hadn't called them. And I wonder why no one bothered to tell them poor Frances is no longer with us...