Heavy wet leaves suck.

"I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO!"

We've been in the new house for a little over three weeks. I'm glad we bought a house that's in "move in" condition, because there's still a lot that needs to get done. The little stuff adds up.

My new theory on home ownership is that you're never really done with more than 5% of the stuff that needs to get done around the house at any given time. For every project you finish, there's still 19 more waiting for you.

My latest project has been installing a toilet paper holder in the bathroom (I have no idea what the previous owners did with their tp). It shouldn't be a big deal, right? Just drill two holes, pop the anchors in, and snap on the arm. Well, as it turns out, the previous owners installed some kind of industrial grade wall tiles in the bathroom (we have invited a team of scientists over to study this material and see if it can be used to insulate the space shuttle or reinforce missile bunkers). So what should be a quickie project suddenly becomes a 4-day test of will and strength. It's taken a trip to Lowe's, 2 trips to Home Depot, 2 dead masonry bits, six or seven fully charged drill battery cycles, and many, many hours. And I'm proud to say, we now have a toilet paper holder mounted on the wall.

However, while screwing around the bathroom for the last 4 days, several other projects piled up... There's very little time for the new homeowner to bask in the glory of a job well done. There will always be that other 95% of the project list to get to.

And while this project probably won't add anything to our resale value, the toilet paper holder is truly the mark of any civilized household.

Snakes

Only 119 days until "Snakes on a Plane".

Restroom? What restroom? We don't even know what a restroom is. And even if we had one, you couldn't use it.

Gold Bond Medicated Powder: For that "fresh balls" feeling all day long.

The first mortgage payment is in the mail.

Only 359 left to go.

Wheeeee!

"America's Most Challenging Cities to Navigate" - Look who made the top 10!


Top 10 Most Difficult Cities to Navigate

1. Boston, MA
2. Washington, DC
3. San Francisco, CA
4. Baltimore, MD
5. New York, NY-Northeastern NJ
6. Ft. Lauderdale-Hollywood-Pompano Beach, FL
7. Los Angeles, CA
8. Seattle-Everett, WA
9. Providence, Pawtucket RI-MA
10. Norfolk-Newport News-Virginia Beach, VA


(I firmly believe there's a special place in hell reserved for the person who designed the 146 - 95 - 195 exchange.)

You know what sucks about moving?

Everything.

Movin' Out.

The move is done (well, the big stuff anyway).

I'm never moving again.

If I do, I'm throwing out all my stuff first.

OK, no, not really.

But I'm definitely not eager to do this again any time soon. It was supposed to be in the 50s today with a chance of rain today. Instead, we had 38 degrees and rain that turned into hail. Hail! What the hell is that shit?

I also managed to drive the 24 foot U-Haul without killing anyone or taking out the neighbor's fence. So I consider that a big success.

Our friends were amazing. We couldn't have done it without them. Everyone who helped out today is getting a big ass canned ham.

I've named this pimple "Closing Costs".