On a Cut

You know why it's so hard to cut back on sugar and alcohol?

Because those things are AWESOME.

Dog Bus

"OK Dogs. Everybody get on the Dog Bus. We're going to PetSmart."

This Spring... Terror has a new face.

Tradition

One of the fun things to do in New England in the Spring is to drive around and guess whose basement is flooding.

Deer Don't Hurt Nobody

Hung out with the Dude-Bros at the barbershop the other day.

They've got a small barbershop on the first floor of an old house in mixed use residential / light commercial area.

They've got 2 giant TVs that are right in your face.

And they turn them up so they're loud enough to be heard over 4 sets of clippers running at the same time.

Last time I was there they were watching some Alaskan State Troopers show (which I was OK with).

This time they were watching Citizens Under Attack.  Which was some type of armed robbery surveillance footage show.  I was not OK with that.

Also, you're supposed to yell stuff at the TV.

***

Overheard at the same visit:

CUSTOMER (with strong RI accent): I don't hunt deer.  Deer don't hurt nobody.  I only hunt bear.

(It sounded like he was hunting bear with a handgun.  Seriously.)

Garden Report

New garden is doing great (except for the spinach... it just didn't grow this year).

We still need to put a gate on the fence.

As you can see in this crude awesome graphic, the new garden area gets much more mid-day sun.

Also... The relocated grass is growing nicely.  If I had moved all that grass by hand and it died, I would have been super pissed.

"Listen! Do you smell something?"

I haven't really been able to smell anything for the last 2 years.  I figured it was just years of allergies and sinus infections finally catching up to me.  And I know it was sometime in the last 2 years because I really can't tell when Kid #2 needs a change.

"Is his diaper full?"

"I honestly don't know."

I mentioned my smelling problems to my allergist at my last visit.  And they sent me to an ENT specialist to get it checked out.

ENT guys gives me mega-horse pill antibiotics and super prednisone.

"Have you lost your sense of taste?"

"I don't think so."

Only I didn't realize how much I actually had.

Five days later...  Everything tastes SO GOOD to me right now.

(And... everything smells... kinda awful...)

Long story short, I've probably had a sinus infection for THE LAST TWO YEARS.

I'm tapering off the prednisone.  Right now.

And I can actually feel it.  I'm tripping balls.

It is... unpleasant.

Raisin Bran Car

Finally got a picture of this guy recently

Why would you do this to your car?  

Was he always a Raisin Bran enthusiast?

Is he trying to promote proper colon health?

Is his other car done up like a box of Apple Jacks?

I have no idea.

Ray's House

I've got an app on my phone called Foodspoting.  It lets you look at pictures of nearby restaurant dishes submitted by users.

Except there's some guy in my neighborhood named Ray who keeps posting various junk food items from his house.  As far as I can tell, "Ray's House" is not an actual restaurant.

I'm thinking of showing up at his house some time and asking to see a menu.

I wonder if he takes reservations.

a partial break down of Sir William Joel's "Only the Good Die Young"

I heard this song in the car this morning for the first time in years...  And I never realized how hilarious it actually is (intentionally or unintentionally).

I also wonder how many young men in the 70s and 80s played this song for their girlfriends in an attempt to generate actual intercourse.  It has to be in the tens of thousands, right?  (And... Did it ever actually work?)


> Come out Virginia, don't let me wait

Her name actually has the word VIRGIN in it.  I just got that.


> Only the good die young

Are there vampires on the lookout for virgins here?  Is someone demanding a virgin sacrifice?

Is that what Long Island was like in 60s?

"If you don't have sex with me... I'm not saying you WILL die... But you COULD die.  Seriously.  Oh, and it has to be tonight."


> I might as well be the one

"Listen... Are the other guys you could sleep with?  Sure.  I'm not debating that.  I don't even have reason to believe that you're necessarily that crazy about me.  But... You know... I'm here.  And you're here... So... We might as well, right?  You could do worse."


> But Virginia they didn't give you quite enough information

Based on the interactions I've had with people that attended Catholic high schools, I'm guessing they didn't really give her any kind of sexual education information.


> I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints

That's actually not a bad line.


> You Catholic girls start much too late

Start what?  Piano lessons?  Gymnastics?


> Things that you might have done...

Like had sex.  With me.