Hello 911?

There's either a demon eating a live octopus or a dog trying to snorkel in the office next door to me.

Oh wait... That's just Pat eating a burrito.

Nevermind.

On a Cut

You know why it's so hard to cut back on sugar and alcohol?

Because those things are AWESOME.

Garden Report

New garden is doing great (except for the spinach... it just didn't grow this year).

We still need to put a gate on the fence.

As you can see in this crude awesome graphic, the new garden area gets much more mid-day sun.

Also... The relocated grass is growing nicely.  If I had moved all that grass by hand and it died, I would have been super pissed.

"Listen! Do you smell something?"

I haven't really been able to smell anything for the last 2 years.  I figured it was just years of allergies and sinus infections finally catching up to me.  And I know it was sometime in the last 2 years because I really can't tell when Kid #2 needs a change.

"Is his diaper full?"

"I honestly don't know."

I mentioned my smelling problems to my allergist at my last visit.  And they sent me to an ENT specialist to get it checked out.

ENT guys gives me mega-horse pill antibiotics and super prednisone.

"Have you lost your sense of taste?"

"I don't think so."

Only I didn't realize how much I actually had.

Five days later...  Everything tastes SO GOOD to me right now.

(And... everything smells... kinda awful...)

Long story short, I've probably had a sinus infection for THE LAST TWO YEARS.

I'm tapering off the prednisone.  Right now.

And I can actually feel it.  I'm tripping balls.

It is... unpleasant.

Raisin Bran Car

Finally got a picture of this guy recently

Why would you do this to your car?  

Was he always a Raisin Bran enthusiast?

Is he trying to promote proper colon health?

Is his other car done up like a box of Apple Jacks?

I have no idea.

Ray's House

I've got an app on my phone called Foodspoting.  It lets you look at pictures of nearby restaurant dishes submitted by users.

Except there's some guy in my neighborhood named Ray who keeps posting various junk food items from his house.  As far as I can tell, "Ray's House" is not an actual restaurant.

I'm thinking of showing up at his house some time and asking to see a menu.

I wonder if he takes reservations.

I call this one "Bread Aisle at Target (So Sad)"

Junior Food Critic

Kid #1: I don't want to eat what you're making for dinner. It smells dreadful.

Me: Well, I'm disappointed in your eating choices but I'm impressed with your vocabulary.

It's what's for dinner...

Jen: Do you want a fork or a spoon for your beef stew?

Little Man: Beef.

Fried Apple Pies

These were tasty, but a lot of work.

I'm not usually a big deep fried kinda guy, but I figured it out pretty quickly.

Rule #1: Don't burn yourself.

Ribs

Q. What are you making?

A. Banana bread.

Sorry Kids...

In the Kitchen

I've been KILLING it in the kitchen lately.

Behold my latest creation:  beef, broccoli and ginger scallion sauce over noodles.

Thanksgiving Pie

 This poor guy didn't stand a chance.

Waffle Party Goodness

Homemade Bread

Bacon sandwiches on homemade bread? OH HELL YES!

Dear New York Wine & Culinary Center,

First, I just want to to thank you for providing 2 of the Top 10 best meals I have ever eaten.

Second, I was hoping you could tell me how you cook your turkey burgers. I don't need the exact recipe or anything like that, I just want to know how you get it to cook through so nicely and not dry out. The menu describes it as being grilled, but is there more to it than that? Is it just grilled? Pan seared? Some combination of the two?

To say it was the best turkey burger I have ever had is an understatement. I didn't even know a turkey burger could be that good.

Keep up the good work.

Very truly yours,

Pat

"Smart man, dis one. You eat like dat, you gonna live to be A HUNDRED!"

-- Mary-Louise, the old Italian lady bagging my groceries while holding up my lentils and kidney beans

In The Kitchen: Pasty Time



Good beef. Fresh local corn. Potatoes from the garden. Store bought crust.